Category Archives: Wisdom from Within

Experiencing Infinity (Thanks Deepak & Oprah!)

Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0
Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0

Another 21 day meditation with Oprah and Deepak, another transcendent experience on the first couple days.This journey is called Manifesting True Success. I think I made it there on the first try.

Seriously guys, it couldn’t have been any crazier. I went on an intense trip, beyond any non-hypnosis meditations I’ve done. I was not quite prepared for the all the awesome, nor did I expect success to look quite like this:

Day one”s mantra was Sheevo Hum, I am Infinity.

Here are the words I wrote immediately after my first meditation, while I was still flying high in an incredibly altered state of consiousness:

As I settled into silently repeating the mantra in my mind, I was immediately transported to a dimension where was consciousness without boundary. I became more fully identified with the infinite than I ever have before. It was…. all that is.

I first felt my being as I have felt it before, as a conduit to direct, focus and channel energy throughout creation. Then, I felt myself as the source of that energy. It was in the shape of  a Torus field, constantly replenishing itself.

Then, I felt my consciousnesses outside of creation, outside of time and physical/mental/causal dimensions. Outside of it all. I was, with my cosmic breath, exhaling all of the multi-verse into being, and collapsing it into itself on the inhalation. Each breath cycle was epoch and eons of time. Trillions and trillions of years inside, yet I was outside of time, and experience it all simultaneously. The rise and fall of countless, infinite civilizations happening in an instant. I felt myself divided into each soul having an experience outside myself, and then returning to merge into oneness.

Each soul, my child, my brother and sister, father and mother and own self, expanding and contracting in awareness and essence.

Infinity, I am.

We are all that which is.

The separation between you, I and all that is exists only within time and creation. Outside of time, it is all just me. Just you. Just one singular oneness from which all is birthed and all shall return.

Source is us. We are here to experience creation on a smaller scale, to play, to learn, to live, laugh, love, grow and cry. To separate and return. To experience just for experience’s sake. Infinite truly is all that is, and you are all of that, but it is love’s essence. The love of a mother for all that is.

I should meditate more often, but then again, it’s perfect that I don’t, because each time I return to the practice I becomes far more intense as I bring everything I have experienced into the moment with me.

It is all perfect.

I now know truly, who I am. Who we all are. I am so blessed and grateful to have seen through to this level. To have felt it viscerally. My love for all of creation multiplied an infinite number of times through this experience. Whew. How can I feel anything but love now that I have felt that consuming, abiding love of source (my source, our source).

Damn, that was great Oprah and Deepak. I should send y’all a card.

Today’s mediation was Ahem Prema, I am love. When I closed my eyes this time, I spend a few minutes enjoying a fuzzy warm love bubble that surrounded me, before I slipped again into infinite consciousness. I was once again outside of the multi-verse, breathing it in and out of existence, but this time as I inhaled, and everything in existence contracted and was drawn into me, it was the most gloriously beautiful, ecstatic feeling. I had always imagined the eventual contraction and collapse of the universe as a cold and sad thing, but it was just the opposite. It is a joyous return to oneness! Every piece of matter and mind that was separate felt the yearning and the pull towards source, as it rushed in faster and faster. As we ultimately became one the feeling of wholeness was beyond anything I could possibly ever describe. That pause between breaths is perfection and lasted an eternity.

When I exhaled and birthed all the universes into form once again, it was in an exhilarating rush outwards, towards expansion, exploration and freedom. The overriding feeling behind every breath, every moment was of perfect love. I wasn’t prepared for another mystical experience before my morning coffee, however, I’m always grateful to be blindsided by the light and love of all that is.

So thank you Deepak and Oprah, for creating the space for me to experience Infinite Love As I AM, as we all truly are. It’s definitely redefined the definition of true success for me.

There’s still time to sign up for the 21 day meditation challenge if you’d like to join us!


Emotional Oneness: The Inner Sacred Marriage

Matt Khan, my guru, inspiration and favorite champion of the Love Revolution has done it again.

He always manages to take concepts that I have been working on, working with and teaching, and take them to a whole ‘nother level. His most recent video on Emotional Oneness distills everything right down to the root it all.

Take the time to watch this video. It might be the most important thing you ever see. It basically boils down all the essential components to peace, joy and oneness in one hour long orgasm of awesome.

The main teaching is that emotional oneness (a precursor to the cosmic oneness that so many people on the spiritual journey are chasing) comes from a sacred union between the mind and the heart. If the heart and mind aren’t on the same page, he says you’re basically in the middle of a battlefield. The way to get reunite them is actually by deepening your relationship through your inner child, which is your soul’s innocence.

He goes through more of it in the video, explaining how you can reconnect and deepen your relationship to your inner child. He also explains how our shadow side is just our inner child acting out when we haven’t given it the attention it craves… He notes hilariously how it can turn every bit of spiritual wisdom you’ve ever learned against you so nothing separates  you from it.

The crazy part of it is, your inner child, your innocence, is the guardian of your soul.  Once you do this healing work and your inner child feels listened to and trusted, it starts to open up all the doorways to abundance and cosmic oneness that were closed to you before, which is the real secret to creation and manifestation.

All the inner child wants  is honesty and self love. Oh, and to play. It needs to play, to express, be and be loved!!!

This is the what I’ve been working and saying for the last couple years, but I always couched it in terms of my body  and my soul. I’ve done a little inner child work, but obviously not enough!!! The exercise we did together halfway through the video had tears streaming down my face and I felt something in me shift and I’m so grateful to have experienced this teaching. It really is the most important thing. The thing that will help everything else dance gracefully  into place.

Matt is a master, who is here to guide us with revolutionary ideas about spirituality. He breaks down old paradigms and old ideas and replaces them with new, simple tools for the new energy and paradigm we’re in. It all starts with loving yourself, one ‘I love you’ to your heart at a time. It’s the love revolution!!!! Please join us!!!~




The Spontaneous Joy Of Listening To My Body

I was on my way to do dishes, take an online class, write a blog post, pet the cats, make a green smoothie and take out the garbage  while I was fluttering around the house tidying…I was little unfocused obviously, not sure what to do next, because I want to do all the things before work today. Then, as I was passing through the kitchen, my body just called out to me and said Stretch right now!!!

I dropped into a forward bend facing my sink full of dirty dishes and it felt sooooo good. I continued on into a sun salutation and the heat came on from the floor vent and muscles all relaxed. It felt like they all sighed in relief in unison. Not surprising, since my whole body was brutalized by my Orange Theory class two days ago. Its a gym with personal group training, focused on high intensity intervals… I was the only one who showed up to the 11:15 class, so I had a my own private instructor (Drill Sargent) pushing me harder than I had ever worked before. It was great, but my everything hurt afterwards.

The yoga and the heat were so lovely, that I just continued on, and practiced right there, no mat, rolling around on my kitchen for a half and hour. It was perfect and joyful. My body and mind both relaxed and it felt so good to be focused on one thing after my scattered morning had been dividing my attention in a million pieces. The change in scenery felt like it was renewing my spirit in some way. I looked around and saw the beauty in my house from a different angle.

An unusual view of my dining room
An unusual view of my dining room


When I finished, I felt infinitely more grounded and present. I logged on to facebook for a quick break before moving on to a more productive task and I saw this post from Kari Samuels, intuitive counselor and happiness coach that explained everything I was feeling so far today:

Inspirations keeps coming in all directions and it may be hard to focus your intentions. Everything feels important right now, and you might not know where to start (or stop)! Take a deep breath. Calm yourself and know you don’t need to get everything done at once. Draw some boundaries around anything or anyone that’s stealing your attention. If it’s not necessary it can wait.

Our numerology for 4.11.14 brings us a multitude of 1 and 4 energy. (It’s also a 4 Universal Day). 1 is the number of inspiration and 4 is the number of grounding and practical matters. This is a wonderful combination of both. 1 and 4 are also numbers of authority. You need to be number 1 in your life. Don’t worry about what’s not yet done. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself and enjoy your life. Now go ahead and breathe. It feels good!


I am forever in awe of the wisdom contained within my body and spirit. It knows exactly what it needs in any given situation, in perfect relationship with all the energies of the universe.


Virgo Full Moon Crimson Tides

By Caerwynentllc, cc by 3.0
By Caerwynentllc, cc by 3.0

I’ve been having an intense experience with this Virgo full moon. I’ve boasted before that full moons don’t really get to me, but I could feel the full weight of it upon me this weekend. I was reluctant to write about the experience earlier not only because it felt deeply personal, but also I was also confused as to what exactly was happening with it’s powerful energy.

Virgo is the priestess archetype. She is an Earth sign and she reminds us to perform our sacred duties and take care of all the details in our lives. She calls us to honor the sacred within the mundane tasks of our daily lives, helping us to understand that in truth, the difference between the sacred and mundane is an illusion. All is sacred, especially our connection to the Earth through our bodies. The Virgo priestess celebrates the passing of time ceremonially and with great reverence. She loves to honor the seasons, births, deaths, weddings, anniversaries… Any excuse for a ceremony will do!

I’ve been learning how to actively work with this priestess energy since I stepped into the Priestess Process back on the Virgo New Moon in September. It’s been a lovely and powerfully introspective journey  so far and it all feels so familiar. It feels like I’ve simply been reawakening  the parts of myself that were lying dormant. None of the the energies are new-they actually feel ancient. Their awakening has connected me more deeply to my inner self, my ancestors, my lineage, to all of my sisters on the planet, to the earth herself- to everything really. I can’t begin to explain how worthwhile it has been, and now that we’re preparing for our emergence it feels like these energies are rising even more powerfully in my life.

Case in point: this Virgo  full moon energy has literally been stirring things up within me, in my womb; my power center of creativity. Since going off hormonal contraceptives last year my cycle has been unpredictable. For the first few months I was synced right up with the new moon and I felt proud that my body seemed to get back on track so quickly. I had read that you were supposed to bleed with the new moon, so everything seemed to be in order.

Then, as the year went on, things became a little more unsettled, with cycles of varying lengths. I’m sure all the travel didn’t help and the timing of my cycles switched back and forth from new moon to full moon and to something in between. It was all very confusing as I attempted to track and make sense of it all as part of my practice of listening to my body.

Then  today with the light of the full moon, I began my cycle (after a longer than usual time) and it felt significant some how. Using my google-fu I found an article on  Yogagodess called ‘Should your period land on the new moon or the full moon to be in sync with nature?’ written by Zhara Haji. She revealed that there are two traditional moon cycles for women: the red moon (full moon) and the white moon (new moon).

You won’t find a lot of literature about women who cycle with the Red Moon.  My guess is that’s because of what menstruating with the full moon represented in the past.  According to Miranda Gray, this cycle was linked to the archetype of the seductress, the enchantress and the woman who knew how to wield healing power and magic.  This was the kind of woman whose sexuality was applied to something ‘other than’ the formation of the next generation. The woman who dives deep into her depths to develop her self-awareness and then turns her energy out to help the world She was considered by our patriarchal ancestors as the ‘evil woman.’

In truth, the Red Moon cycle belonged to the medicine women, to the mid-wives, the magic-makers and the wisdom keepers of the community.  These women were not focusing their feminine energies to give birth to children. Rather their energy was used to empower other women and their communities. -Zahra Haji

Zhara summarizes this energy as  “The woman who dives deep into her depths to develop her self-awareness and then turns her energy out to help the world”. This archetypal energy resonated with me in such a deep way that reading these words was like having a bucket of cold water poured over my soul, jolting me awake, reminding me that this is who I am, this healer woman, priestess in service to spirit and to all of the universe.

Deep, deep gratitude for this new level of awareness of how my body is deeply connected to the earth, the moon and the star, reflecting the mysteries: As above, so below, as within, so without, as the universe, so the soul.

Full moon blessings to you all!

Compassionate Pisces- Softening My Gaze

New Moon, cc by 2.0
New Moon, cc by 2.0

We’re moving into a soft and dreamy Pisces new moon while the Sun is also in Pisces. Double the Pisces, double the love!

Pisces is the sign of the compassionate Bodhisattva, where the highest ideals of service to humanity are expressed. It’s the last sign of the zodiac, and the one with the highest vibrational attunement. Working in the Pisces realm means working with absolute divine love, Christ Consciousness and the ascended masters like Quan Yin, the goddess of compassion. Basically with our double Pisces energy right now, we’re being bombarded with universal love.

I know I can feel it… I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately for some reason, falling back into my perfectionist tendencies, and I’ve been beating myself up for these perceived imperfections. I know better, but that just becomes another reason to judge myself harshly :”You of all people should know better!” exclaims my inner monoluge! I had been berating myself for weeks,  but finally had a respite and I felt my inner voice soften over the last day or two. Suddenly I was able to see myself with the compassionate gaze I had been missing for sometime. My heart softened and I recognized that more than any harsh words, what I needed more than anything was loving compassion. I spent some time today sending these loving, compassionate and appreciative thoughts to my heart and to my body. It felt fantastic, as though a knot of tension I’d been carrying for weeks just melted away.

I want to invite you to soften your gaze as well, and see yourself through that lens of loving kindness and compassion. See just how beautiful you really are, and how you’re doing a such wonderful job. You’re learning exactly what you came here to learn, and you are perfect in your gloriously imperfect humanity.

I find it easy to see the rest of the world through this lens. I adore and admire every person on this planet for being brave enough to come down to this difficult place to learn all they can. Turning this loving gaze inward is what’s hard. I often hold myself to impossible standards that I would never set for anyone else. But today and in this new moon window, I’m trying! I’m feeling the freedom that comes from releasing myself from whatever unloving thoughts and self talk I was holding and replacing them with love. Nothing good comes from judging ourselves harshly.

As soon as we are all able to soften our gaze with loving compassion, we begin to really love ourselves  exactly as we are. This unconditional self love allows our inner radiance to shine more brightly, which in turn inspires others to do the same and makes the world a more loving place. It’s one of the easiest, yet most challenging things to do in the world, but we can take advantage of this new moon energy to plant the seeds of loving compassion everywhere we need in our lives, including our perceptions of ourselves. This is one way we can effect real change in the world, by starting right at home, by loving ourselves.

Me in Bali- photo by Cadencia Photography
Me in Bali- photo by Cadencia Photography

Reflections On The Apocalypse

My journey towards a year of really listening to my body and practicing radical self care began with a bang on Dec 21, 2012, which just happened to coincide with the end of an age in the Mayan Calender, that infamous date you may remember, had been heralded as the apocalypse.

I was at an epic Christmas party that night, performing on stage then staying with some friends for dinner and drinks when I started to feel like something wasn’t quite right with my insides… I dragged my husband out of there, and sped home knowing that once things started, there would be no stopping until my entire body was emptied of whatever was offending it.

I barely made it home, and proceeded to spend the next few hours in a process of ‘enlightenment’… Without being graphic, just know that I certainly felt a lightness and a spaciousness at the end of the process.

As I lay on my bathroom floor, exhausted and wrung out, I felt completely safe, and oddly peaceful. It was quite unlike the last time I had experienced something of this nature, when I wound up taking a trip to the ER in an ambulance wearing an adult diaper, needing shots of Gravol and IV fluids. This time, I knew that as soon as I was cleaned out… I would be OK on my own.

The whole time this was happening, the symbolism of being cleaned out and purified was vividly in my mind and I meditated on the real meaning of the apocalypse on that day. I had been looking forward to Dec 21st, 2012 for sometime, as I felt it was a doorway in time we were passing through, after which things would change. I wasn’t worried it was the end of the world as so many alarmists predicted but rather, I had a feeling it was to be the end of the world as we know it. I’m not gonna lie, that R.E.M song was in my head the whole time. I later learned that the root  of the Greek ‘apokalupsis’ , means revelation, or to uncover. All the new age-y spiritual texts I had been reading, as well as my own intuition told me it really was going to be the beginning of a new energy here on earth, into a new era of consciousness. What I didn’t realize was just how personal this journey would be.

I wound up purging from me physically, energetically and spiritually things that were no longer serving me that night and the process continued throughout the year. I felt so peaceful and light the next day, I didn’t want to mess up that feeling, so I became really careful about what I was putting in my body. The night of the party, I had eaten lots of things that I knew my body doesn’t really love: sugar, dairy, wheat, and some fish that tasted funny, but I didn’t spit out, cause I didn’t want to be rude. It was basically a disaster  waiting to happen, and the revelation that came to me through that was that I needed to lighten up and listen to what my body was telling me.

I spend the week after that dramatic night really enjoying my new found attention to my body and it’s desires, so I decided to make a practice and a project out of it. I spent the year listening to my body and it had quite a lot to say. Looking back I clearly see the magic of the solstice as well as that whole Armageddon energy at work here. Whatever you put your attention on during the solstice is what will be created during your year. I didn’t sew these seeds of intention consciously, but the organic timing of nature and the universe was certainly working through me here.

I’m not sure if my year was technically up on Dec 22nd or if it will be January 1st, 2014, but it doesn’t matter because it turns out it wasn’t a short term project with a final date of completion. It was really more the start of a lifelong journey of conscious co-operation, communication and honesty with myself.  It’s made my life so much better, in practically every way. I’m healthier, more peaceful and having more fun than I could have imagined by living in harmony with my body, mind and soul, connecting more deeply with my own inner wisdom every day. Sure it’s been kind of a pain in the butt sometimes, but the gifts that have come into my life have been so rewarding they’ve more than made up for whatever challenges I’ve faced.

by Cadencia Photography

Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with what my apocalypse revealed.

December’s Theme of Adjustment Has Been My Personal Theme This Whole Year!

December Sundog from wikipedia commons
December Sundog from wikipedia commons

I love when I read something that feels like it came directly from my own spirit.

December 2013’s theme of Adjustment, according to Lena Stevens from The Power Path, (which I first read on Mystic Mama ), speaks to what my personal mission has been all year .

“This month is about adjusting and realigning your life in a way that works better for you. It is about modifying, correcting, removing, adding, clarifying, accommodating, altering, revising and rectifying anything that needs adjustment based on YOUR TRUTH.
“It is about making small alterations and fine-tuning your intentions and action plans and paying attention to what is working and what is not. It is about moving everything into a better fit.

These words resonated so deeply with me. Just the day before I had posted a similar comment on my facebook in response to a friendly debate that started when I shared an article on alcohol use in the healing community  from Elephant Journal.

My treatise on any kind of substance use is for people to constantly be noticing how any substance they ingest, food, medicine, intoxicant makes them feel on every level; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want to inspire people to pay attention to these feelings and to honor themselves by doing whatever serves their highest good. This reflection and self examination also isn’t a one time thing. What serves us the most changes from moment to moment. There is no one size fits all solution. It’s all about your own personal journey.

While I was talking specifically about things you ingest, I have expanded this philosophy to include everything within my life during the course of my project; my year long quest to listen to my body. I have tried to question everything in my life, releasing old patterns of behavior and thoughts that no longer suit me, and actively choosing the ones that do. This is the polar opposite of living in default mode, where we do the things we do, think the things we think and believe the things we believe because that’s what we’ve always done, or what we’re taught to do by our friends, family and society.

As I’ve explored my own truths over the last 11 months, I feel I’ve come to a deeper understanding of my own true essence. I now know my spirit’s real needs, wants, desires, dislikes and joys. It’s funny, but starting out I didn’t consciously realize that I’d wind up becoming intimate partners with my own self. I feel a deeper partnership with my mind, body and soul now that I’ve spent all this time in dialogue with different aspects of myself. I’ve made changes to the way I eat, sleep, exercise, work and play. I’ve done lots of expanding and lots of releasing. I also spent some time honoring all the work I’ve done, and all the things that I’ve consciously chosen to keep in my life. I invite everyone to allow for this kind of self inquiry and adjustment in their own lives. It’s a lot of work, but the results are so worthwhile. Living a conscious life of your own design feels absolutely amazing!

So please, take a few moments every day to decide how you want to live.  Every time you make a choice, or even just have a thought, you have the opportunity to craft your life into something that is truly and uniquely yours. Make your decisions by listening to your heart and let whatever doesn’t work for you fall away. If you aren’t sure what to do in any given situation, think of what would serve the highest good of all (including yourself). Choose your own adventure!!!

Desire and Destiny- Another 21 Day Meditation Experience

Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey
Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey

So Hum.

Our first mantra in this 21 Day Meditation Experience with Deepak and Oprah.

While it might sound like a statement of boredom or existential ennui, this mantra was more like a rocket ship to inner space exploration.

I’ve used it before, as have millions of people for thousands of years, meaning that those two little words carry an incredible power within them.

It means, I am.

The centering though Deepak offered as an additional layer of focus was: I am my deepest desire.

Then he asked the question ‘Who are you?”

He offered us a moment to consider this before introducing the mantra, and the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘I am that which is love’.

As Deepak mentioned, there is no right or wrong answer to the question of your own personal identity, but I know it’s something many of us have struggled with. Sometimes we use the labels we have in our lives to answer. I know as a teenager I liked to use the Meridith Brooks song Bitch with the lyrics “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I”m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed!” I love the song because it sums up our unity with all that is within all the messy contradictions contained in a human life.

As I was listening to Deepak’s introduction, I had immediately started sinking into a meditative state. It was like my whole being just couldn’t wait for the meditation to begin. By the time we officially began, I was already deep into altered state of consciousness.

I’m not sure what meditation feels like for anyone else, but once I’ve dropped in, quieted and focused my mind, I feel electric currents of energy running through me. There is a feeling of pressure on my third eye and crown, and I feel warm, tingly, fuzzy and incredibly alive.

As I repeat the mantra, So Hum, gently, slowly, just speaking the words in my mind, I begin to feel I am the witness to what is occurring in my mind. My consciousness is not what is repeating the mantra, my mind is, and I am observing it, yet I am in control of it as well. I keenly feel the difference between my mind (which is the unique combination of my physical brain and my soul) and my eternal spirit.

With many years of experience working in these altered states of consciousness, I have a few tools to take the meditation deeper, to another level, fusing it with energy work and personal healing.

I began running energy though my body in a microcosmic orbit. At first I have to consciously move the energy with my breath at first, but then it takes on a life of it’s own and my concentration on it is no longer required. This practice is used in all kinds of energetic disciplines, like reiki, chi gong and tantra. This accumulates energy within the body, and I believes it cleanses and cleans out your physical form.

I can feel my consciousness expanding outside of my body, and my awareness is sitting about half a foot above my head. I can feel myself inhabiting my whole auric field, and I bring my focus to my light body. Since my LBL hypnotherapy, I can easily connect with my higher self  and feel the sparkly blue, purple and white energy that radiates from my core. Sitting in my light body, I feel tangibly connected to my whole self.   I know who I am. This human body is a part of me, as I am part of it, but it is not all of me. It does not define me or limit me. I am here, inhabiting it in order to have a human experience. In order to feel the joy, pain  and freedom of expression of being in a physical form on this plane, at this time, in this dimension.

I am what I am. An eternal being of light, who came from the divine source which is only love in order to be an individual unique expression to add to the beauty and complexity of all that is. I exist to learn, grow, play, experience and to love. I choose to be here, right now in order to do those things on Earth.

My deepest desire is to love and to serve using my talents and gifts. These are to help you remember who you are, and to support you on your mission. In order to do that, I want to help you take very good care of yourself, because you are also an amazing, radiant being of light here on a mission to love, learn and grow. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt just how awesome you are. This is my destiny.

So Hum.

I have been repeating the mantra in my mind as my consciousness has been playing in layers of mysteries and understanding.

That is the beauty of meditation. It’s not just about focusing the mind, that’s just the first step which quiets the mind so you can hear your soul, feel the universe speak, see the spark of divinity that resides within you and know who you truly are.

Photo by Cadencia Photography

More Gentle Reminders From The Universe

Just days after my remedial manifestation lesson, I’ve been reminded of a truth about myself and self care.

I need to move and dance in order to be happy. I really learned this lesson when I had a broken foot and couldn’t dance for 2 months. Over the years, I’ve made movement a part of my daily life and I make sure I dance a few times a week at least.

A shoulder injury I sustained while sleeping (how lame is that?!?) the day after I returned from my epic journey to Arizona has kept me pretty chill for the last 2 weeks. I have only hooped when  I needed to, when performing at and rehearsing for the Fierce Woman Awards last week. I also had to pare down my daily yoga routine to just a few simple stretches to keep me from seizing up. Today was the first time I was able to chaturanga without too much pain.

I was actually surprised my ability to keep it together even without my daily routine of movement. I thought I had become dependent upon it to function, addicted to it in lieu of coffee in the morning. I was fine though. More than fine, my mood since I’ve been back has been as high as it’s ever been. Joyous really. I felt amazing. My cup was filled up to overflowing in Sedona and everything just kept being awesome. That is, until yesterday.

Yesterday, by the afternoon, I felt cranky with no real reason. My husband was cranky as well, and I blamed it partially on him… I tend to have a hard time being happy when he’s cranky. The no sugar thing has been hard for him, since he doesn’t actually like bitter tasting foods. I should have been prepared for this. He even warned me.

But I just couldn’t get into anything yesterday, and felt vaguely frustrated and disinterested in all things even when I went to bed.

I woke up feeling better today, but still not quite my shiny, happy radiant normal state. That is until I put on a grizmatik track as I was making coconut manna cookies in the kitchen. Coming through my new nifty Bose speaker it sounded SOOO GOOOD and it was SOOOO FUNKY I couldn’t help myself. I had a dance party in my kitchen. My shoulder did not feel awesome but the rest of my body and soul had outvoted it.

After 5 minutes of getting down, slip sliding, popin’ and lockin’ and booty shaking in my fuzzy slippers lifted my soul up and into the stratosphere.

OH YEAH, I remembered. I need to move. If I don’t, energy gets stuck in my body and interpreted as frustration. I knew this from experience, and it was confirmed during that hypnosis session. I’ll wonder what’s wrong with me and the world, when I all need to do is shake my groove thing. Dancing is one of the most healing and transformational activities on the planet.

I can’t believe I forget that sometimes.

The beautiful icing on the cake was sitting down, moments later to the beginning of my creation coach class only to find the topic was ‘Transforming Energy Through Dance..’ Thanks for the gentle reminder universe!!!

Remedial Lessons In Manifestation

My cats Moo and Q  have been driving me crazy at night ever since I got back from Sedona. Actually, it’s been for longer than that, but maybe the 10 days of blissfully uninterrupted sleep has made me notice how annoying it is to be woken several times a night by a cat meowing at my door.

The problem developed when they were wee little kittens.

Moo and Q, being odd
Moo and Q, being odd

They were way too crazy at night to sleep with when they were little. Not only would they get into everything in the room and make lots of noise, but they also would attack toes and faces while we slept, so they were always eventually kicked out of the bedroom when we went to sleep.

When I inevitably woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, Q would be waiting for me by the door. She’d be adorably affectionate, purring and rubbing against my legs. She’d even follow me into the bathroom and try to jump on my lap for cuddles. Since she’s not an overly cuddly cat during the day, I was suckered in by the show of affection. I would pet her and tell her I loved her and probably said a lot of really dumb things.


What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was being woken by her teeny tiny meows that were barely audible. As a kitten, she barely squeeked. Someday, probably when she was a teenager, she found her voice and her meows were now loud enough to jolt me out of my dreams. At this point, I found it far less cute, but I was still too much of a softy to punish her. I would just tell her to stop. Sometimes I would chase her. Sometimes I would spray her with water, but nothing seemed to deter her.

I’m pretty sure she would put her face right down into the crack of the door and HOWL!

Unfortunately for women every where. A cat’s meow sounds a lot like a baby’s cry. They manipulate our weakness for poor helpless infants. Sadly, many men seem immune to the sound.

I could hear these meows right though my ear plugs and white noise machine. Sometimes it got so bad that I would hear phantom meowing while I was trying to fall asleep.
On Friday night, she got me up 6 times. Sadly, I just couldn’t really get mad at her (I told you, I’m a sucker). She just wants to be with me and the only reason she can’t is because her brother meows if he’s in the room while we’re trying to fall asleep.

That’s right. One meows when he’s in the room with us. The other meows when she’s outside it.

GAH! Silly part Siamese cats. Sometimes I wished I didn’t love them so much and I wasn’t such a pacifist, because I felt like doing them harm would feel so good!!!!

You can see I was getting a little desperate.

A turning point happened the other day when I read the phrase “What we resist persists” and something clicked.

I realized that in many ways I was resisting them being in the room out of  sheer stubbornness. I wanted to know what might happen if I decided to welcome them into to room instead, shifting my perspective.

I also realized that I had been begging them to ‘Stop meowing!’  In my sleep deprived haze, I forgot the primary rule of manifestation. State what you intend to create in the positive, not the negative.The universal laws of manifesting work like computer programing. You can’t tell a computer not to do something. You can only tell it to do something.

When I commanded “Stop meowing!”, all it and they (and the universe) heard was “Meowing!”

I changed my language to the positive desired outcome.

” Be quiet, kitties and you’ll get to stay in the bedroom!”  I may have also said please. Good manners never go out of style!

So on Saturday night,  after setting my intention to “having  quiet, undisturbed sleep” and having a small talk with my cats, I kept the door open and went to sleep.

The only time I heard a meow was when Jeremy kicked Moo.

Fair enough.

I make sounds when people kick me too.

This new arrangement has worked beautifully so far. I have hear the occasional meow, and been stepped on once or twice by a cat, but by and large I’m getting far more sleep.  I’m also shaking my head that it’s taken me 2 years to figure it out. I’ll leave you with another strange picture of my dear, sweet, strange cats.

Moo and Q, being weird.
Moo and Q, being weird.