Tag Archives: love

Sweat Your Prayers, Dance For Peace

Challenges, Hoop Dance, Inspiration, Sacred Dance, Self Care, Spirit, Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

 

Last week, I attended a beautiful meditation for world peace on November 11th, 2015. Two days later the Western world was rocked when the terrorists attacked Paris (I only heard about the earlier Beirut attacks after that).

It was so difficult to wrap my mind around.  Violence in the Middle East always seems so far removed, but Paris…. I grew up learning all about France, in school, in countless movies and books, through the food I eat and the wine I drink. I have spent time there, and since I speak French, I feel a kinship with the place, in a way I don’t always feel with the far flung reaches of the globe where I’ve never been.

The news of the attacks hit me, and a whole lot of people I know hard. I cried, and wondered how it could happen, why and how could we stop it from happening again? What can we do? I became more educated about what has been happening in other areas of the world, the things our media doesn’t always report and my heart grew heavier still. Then people began reacting in fear,  with many condemning the people who need our compassion the most and my heart felt like it might break.

I refuse to let this harden my heart, or to change what I believe. I know that peace is possible, but we will never defeat darkness and hate with more of the same. Only light can drive out the darkness and only love can conquer fear and hate. This world needs more love, not less. More compassion, not less. More understanding of each others humanity, not alienation and xenephobia.

These terrorists use, well, terror because their hearts are hurting so badly that lashing out in anger is the only thing that might bring them some relief from the pain of their lives. How many of us can even comprehend suffering of that magnitude. Their pain is immense and must seem practically insurmountable.

I, and so many of the people around me are lucky enough to have lives filled with joy and love. Our basic needs are beyond met and we have the room in our lives for fun, and creative self expression. Heck, I get to dance for a living, and dancing is my living praying. It’s how I connect with all that is. It fills me up with so much love and joy that it just burst out of me.

I am lucky enough to be able to facilitate this joyful movement for others as well. In my Hoop Flow class last night, our theme was Dancing Your Essence. We were moving with the intention of expressing our unique light. We moved through several exercises, including Sway and some blindfolded hoopdance, and went into a 25 minute dance journey with a wide variety of music, allowing our bodies to move and interpret the tracks in whatever way authentically arose. We moved through melancholy, desperate, sad music into the hopeful, happy and joyful. You could feel the energy in the room shift, and the happier the music, the higher the vibration. People were grinning from ear to ear, myself included as I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for this kind of healing tool .

After a short rest, we concluded our dance journey with a song dedicated to world peace. With our intention, we filled up our hearts with so much love that it just couldn’t be contained, and then sent it out into the world around us. This was the track we danced to: https://soundcloud.com/revolvr/youve-got-the-love-remix

We can begin to change the world by starting with our own hearts. First emptying them out, through our movement, sweat and tears. Then filling them up with so much love and light that it just spills out of you. Then from that place of fullness, you can go out into the world to do your work. Obviously it isn’t enough to just pray and dance. There is work to do on the ground. This is how I start though. This is how I do my healing work for my own heart, filling it with love, music, movement, joy, compassion, community and gratitude. This is also part of my work out in the world. Helping others fill  up their hearts, filling up their cup so it’s overflowing with love, so they too can go out into the wider world and meet all those they meet with love as well, treating each person with dignity, respect and compassion.

It starts right here, and begins with you.  Paraphrasing the wise words of Gabrielle Roth, healing happens when you lovingly move through your pain, sweat your prayers and let go of the past. Once we have done this, our hearts are open, full of love and  we can work together to create peace on earth.

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Experiencing Infinity (Thanks Deepak & Oprah!)

Adventures, Elemental Forces Of Creation, Inspiration, Spirit, Wisdom from Within, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0
Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0

Another 21 day meditation with Oprah and Deepak, another transcendent experience on the first couple days.This journey is called Manifesting True Success. I think I made it there on the first try.

Seriously guys, it couldn’t have been any crazier. I went on an intense trip, beyond any non-hypnosis meditations I’ve done. I was not quite prepared for the all the awesome, nor did I expect success to look quite like this:

Day one”s mantra was Sheevo Hum, I am Infinity.

Here are the words I wrote immediately after my first meditation, while I was still flying high in an incredibly altered state of consiousness:

As I settled into silently repeating the mantra in my mind, I was immediately transported to a dimension where was consciousness without boundary. I became more fully identified with the infinite than I ever have before. It was…. all that is.

I first felt my being as I have felt it before, as a conduit to direct, focus and channel energy throughout creation. Then, I felt myself as the source of that energy. It was in the shape of  a Torus field, constantly replenishing itself.

Then, I felt my consciousnesses outside of creation, outside of time and physical/mental/causal dimensions. Outside of it all. I was, with my cosmic breath, exhaling all of the multi-verse into being, and collapsing it into itself on the inhalation. Each breath cycle was epoch and eons of time. Trillions and trillions of years inside, yet I was outside of time, and experience it all simultaneously. The rise and fall of countless, infinite civilizations happening in an instant. I felt myself divided into each soul having an experience outside myself, and then returning to merge into oneness.

Each soul, my child, my brother and sister, father and mother and own self, expanding and contracting in awareness and essence.

Infinity, I am.

We are all that which is.

The separation between you, I and all that is exists only within time and creation. Outside of time, it is all just me. Just you. Just one singular oneness from which all is birthed and all shall return.

Source is us. We are here to experience creation on a smaller scale, to play, to learn, to live, laugh, love, grow and cry. To separate and return. To experience just for experience’s sake. Infinite truly is all that is, and you are all of that, but it is love’s essence. The love of a mother for all that is.

I should meditate more often, but then again, it’s perfect that I don’t, because each time I return to the practice I becomes far more intense as I bring everything I have experienced into the moment with me.

It is all perfect.

I now know truly, who I am. Who we all are. I am so blessed and grateful to have seen through to this level. To have felt it viscerally. My love for all of creation multiplied an infinite number of times through this experience. Whew. How can I feel anything but love now that I have felt that consuming, abiding love of source (my source, our source).

Damn, that was great Oprah and Deepak. I should send y’all a card.

Today’s mediation was Ahem Prema, I am love. When I closed my eyes this time, I spend a few minutes enjoying a fuzzy warm love bubble that surrounded me, before I slipped again into infinite consciousness. I was once again outside of the multi-verse, breathing it in and out of existence, but this time as I inhaled, and everything in existence contracted and was drawn into me, it was the most gloriously beautiful, ecstatic feeling. I had always imagined the eventual contraction and collapse of the universe as a cold and sad thing, but it was just the opposite. It is a joyous return to oneness! Every piece of matter and mind that was separate felt the yearning and the pull towards source, as it rushed in faster and faster. As we ultimately became one the feeling of wholeness was beyond anything I could possibly ever describe. That pause between breaths is perfection and lasted an eternity.

When I exhaled and birthed all the universes into form once again, it was in an exhilarating rush outwards, towards expansion, exploration and freedom. The overriding feeling behind every breath, every moment was of perfect love. I wasn’t prepared for another mystical experience before my morning coffee, however, I’m always grateful to be blindsided by the light and love of all that is.

So thank you Deepak and Oprah, for creating the space for me to experience Infinite Love As I AM, as we all truly are. It’s definitely redefined the definition of true success for me.

There’s still time to sign up for the 21 day meditation challenge if you’d like to join us!

PH_OD

My Drug of Choice: Love

Inspiration, Self Care, Spirit, , , , ,
By Katanna Tatz
By Katanna Tatz

I got more work done on my cosmic ascension butterflies tattoo the other day (Butterflies with motherf***** stars in them, Yo!)

While I’m so happy to be putting this symbolic art on my body because it’s thrilling, exciting and awesome,  it’s also kinda painful. That’s the beauty of tattoos. They, like so many other of the good things in life (the things worth doing) require some pain before you get to the beauty.

You have to suffer for this particular art, at least, a little bit.

It actually didn’t hurt as much as the first session, where one of the butterflies on my shoulder blade was right over a nerve bundle that made my leg spasm.

This was still a little unpleasant though, as repeatedly scrapping your skin with needles to inject ink tends to be. I wanted to be present for the process, rather than checked out, which was really my only option since I don’t happen to have any crazy painkillers (although if you happen to want to share, I can give you my mailing address).

Anyway, as I love to experiment (and had little else to do), I played with several different kinds of meditation and mental games to play with the pain.

I tried various relaxation, self hypnosis and breathing techniques which definitely helped, I did some Reiki on myself, which seemed difficult, and I also let my mind wander, which was the most enjoyable when I relaxed enough to really dive into my imagination. I wound up flying around in the field of stars that was being tattoo’d on me, but that only worked for a little while (it was fun while it lasted though)

My cosmic flight came to an end and I came back into my body when I needed to shift positions and stretch. I couldn’t quite get back there, and was wondering where else to visit  when a mental picture of a friend randomly popped into my head.  I spontaneously sent that person all my love both from my heart and  from a cosmic source that’s easily tapped into. I saw them covered in these brilliant wavy cartoon like lines and triangles of light, and could tell they were just soaking it up.

Another friend popped into my mind and I sent them all my love as well, seeing it, and feeling it deeply. I noticed then that the pain had faded way into the background, as things are wont to do when you are no longer focusing on them.

So, I kept at it for quite some time, sending love and light to my family, my friends, different places and finally the whole world. As I was absorbed in my love, I barely felt the tattoo.. What I did feel was warm fuzzies, all over, like being cocooned in a love blanket.

I’m sure distracting myself in any way would help with pain, but sending love was more than just a distraction. It gave me something constructive to do, something to focus on. We all talk about love and light a lot. So much so, that I think it’s easy to forget their awesome power. I’m super grateful for this experience reminding me again, that they are the best drugs. As the master philosopher’s in The Beatles sang: Love is all you need. Unless you have access to good pharmaceuticals. They would probably help too.

The Secret To Raising Your Vibration: Being Nice

Adventures, Self Care, , , , , , , , , , , , ,
By Fabrice Florin, under Cc by SA 3.0
By Fabrice Florin, under Cc by SA 3.0

Being nice holds the key to the highest dimensions in the universe. It’s how you raise your vibration, which seems to be everyone’s goal these days as we talk of the approaching ascension of humanity.

The funny thing is, it’s not about just being nice to others. In fact, that’s secondary to being nice to yourself.

I’m still working on being there 100%, but it has been one of my main goals as of late. That’s why my focus has been on radical self care, self love and loving kindness and compassion to one’s own self. My work as of late, my workshops, one on one sessions and retreats often have this focus, because honestly, I don’t think there’s anything more important in the world. I have learned through trial and error, and especially during my year of listening to my body that radical self care,  and supporting the self care of other light workers is my mission on earth.

Every being in the cosmos is a beautiful, sparkly, radiant being made of light. We forget that sometimes while we’re down here in the mud. Remembering that our only real duty as humans is to shine our light, as brightly as we can has brought it all into focus… We get there through loving kindness, otherwise known as being nice. Nice doesn’t always sound like much, but trust me it’s the key to it all…

You don’t have to take my word for it though, here is an amazing video from Matt Khan, from True Divine Nature, who always takes whatever my soul is experiencing and describing it far more eloquently (and with less cursing, but just as much humor) as I would. Using metaphors of bank accounts and sailing ships, Matt breaks down how being nice to yourself gives you access to the keys  to the universe (which is dressed up as the innocent child in your heart who happens to hold said key).

Here is more magic from the Love Revolution and the secret to raising your vibration in one simple step:

I can’t recommend watching this video and subscribing to his newsletter and facebook page enough. Matt is a master, constantly sharing the highest spiritual wisdom in down to earth, easy to understand ways. He is a Leader in the Love Revolution, and a guide to the first wave of ascension of humanity to the fifth dimension. His wisdom come directly from source, the highest realms and is really nothing but love speaking in human form.

All my love to you all, to your hearts and to mine.

Viva the Love revolution ❤

-Kacie

PS- If you’re interested in wanting to do something nice for yourself, and for your heart, you might want to check out our Radiant Soul Retreat. Attending is an act of radical self care, loving kindness and supreme niceness.

Emotional Oneness: The Inner Sacred Marriage

Inspiration, Self Care, Spirit, Wisdom from Within, , , , , , , , , ,

Matt Khan, my guru, inspiration and favorite champion of the Love Revolution has done it again.

He always manages to take concepts that I have been working on, working with and teaching, and take them to a whole ‘nother level. His most recent video on Emotional Oneness distills everything right down to the root it all.

Take the time to watch this video. It might be the most important thing you ever see. It basically boils down all the essential components to peace, joy and oneness in one hour long orgasm of awesome.

The main teaching is that emotional oneness (a precursor to the cosmic oneness that so many people on the spiritual journey are chasing) comes from a sacred union between the mind and the heart. If the heart and mind aren’t on the same page, he says you’re basically in the middle of a battlefield. The way to get reunite them is actually by deepening your relationship through your inner child, which is your soul’s innocence.

He goes through more of it in the video, explaining how you can reconnect and deepen your relationship to your inner child. He also explains how our shadow side is just our inner child acting out when we haven’t given it the attention it craves… He notes hilariously how it can turn every bit of spiritual wisdom you’ve ever learned against you so nothing separates  you from it.

The crazy part of it is, your inner child, your innocence, is the guardian of your soul.  Once you do this healing work and your inner child feels listened to and trusted, it starts to open up all the doorways to abundance and cosmic oneness that were closed to you before, which is the real secret to creation and manifestation.

All the inner child wants  is honesty and self love. Oh, and to play. It needs to play, to express, be and be loved!!!

This is the what I’ve been working and saying for the last couple years, but I always couched it in terms of my body  and my soul. I’ve done a little inner child work, but obviously not enough!!! The exercise we did together halfway through the video had tears streaming down my face and I felt something in me shift and I’m so grateful to have experienced this teaching. It really is the most important thing. The thing that will help everything else dance gracefully  into place.

Matt is a master, who is here to guide us with revolutionary ideas about spirituality. He breaks down old paradigms and old ideas and replaces them with new, simple tools for the new energy and paradigm we’re in. It all starts with loving yourself, one ‘I love you’ to your heart at a time. It’s the love revolution!!!! Please join us!!!~

 

 

 

Happy Solstice- Time To Play In All The Light!

Astrology, Elemental Forces Of Creation, , , , , ,

 

Photo from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) by Dr. Alex C. Young
Photo from NASA’s Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) by Dr. Alex C. Young

I absolutely adore the solstice points of the year: these curious moments where time seems to stand still, like the pause between breaths. Since the winter solstice, the Earth has been slowly inhaling. The days have been getting longer. Almost imperceptibly  at first, but living this far North, I noticed the sun setting at 11pm last night (with the most glorious colors!)

Today is the longest day,  the apex of that arc that begins to descend tomorrow, as the Earth begins to slowly exhale, with the days becoming shorter and we retreat back into that deep dark space of internal reflection and creation before the light comes back. But enough about the darkness, plenty of time for that later. Right now it’s time to celebrate the light!!!! It’s a great time to notice how the seeds of intention you planted in the darkest times are ripening! It’s been exciting to watch my own creations take form and blossom with the transformational power of the solar force that rules our lives! Cheers to you, Sun!

Also exciting, this solstice marks the day the Sun moves into Cancer, the comfortable loving, nurturing water sign. Water is the element that you can magnetize with your intention and its primary power is love, which makes this the perfect time to bath yourself in the healing powers of both love and light (my two favorite things!!!)

It would be a spectacular day to surround yourself with your loved ones and play in this energy, spending time outside in the light, bonus points if you can spend time in or around water! Refresh and replenish your spirit with fun activities and light nourishing foods directly from the earth (skipping the pop tarts in favor of garden carrots or fresh picked raspberries perhaps!).

It’s also a perfect time to celebrate the change in the seasons! It’s summer time for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, and that’s definitely something I’m going to celebrate. Time to laugh, dance and play. Honor the abundance that summer brings, and spend some time deeply appreciating all the love and light surrounding you today, symbolically, metaphorically and literally!

I plan on spending the day with my family, eating and playing together, shopping for a new lego set and then I’ll be dressing up like a zebra and heading to the Zoo with Flowscience as we dance and light up the night with our LED props.

Zebra Kacie sends love, light and happiness to you all. I’ll leave you with the song ‘Here comes the Sun’ that synchronistically started playing just now by Phaeleh from his album tides: https://soundcloud.com/phaeleh/here-comes-the-sun

 

Zebra Kacie at Astral Harvest Photo by Ra Osiris
Zebra Kacie at Astral Harvest Photo by Ra Osiris

 

The Love Revolution!!!!

Inspiration, Spirit, , , , ,

 

This message from Matt Khan is the most important thing you will hear all day, or maybe, the most important thing you will hear in all your lifetimes on Earth.  This is stuff I’ve been saying for awhile, but the way in which he says it and the energy he transmits to you as you hear it takes it to the next level. I’m so grateful for his eloquence, as he weaves so much important information together in such an easy to understand way.

Basically, our whole journey is about learning to love. The most important step we can take on that journey is to start loving ourselves. He talks about sending ‘I love you’s’ to the heart. This is one of my favorite practices and I think it’s probably the single most important thing we can do to change the world. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Love yourself, change the world. But it’s true, it all starts with you. To paraphrase Matt, the most effective way you can  change yourself is by loving yourself relentlessly.Relentlessly means without fail, not just occasionally, or when you feel you deserve it. Loving yourself relentlessly is a baddass light warrior way to change the whole world.

You can start by simply saying it. I love you. You can say it directly to your core, to your heart.  Matt challenges us to simply say it, even if it doesn’t feel authentic. Just say it anyway. The only reason it doesn’t feel authentic is because it’s unfamiliar. Once you’ve said it enough times, the subconscious mind will accept it as familiar and you will start to feel it. Once you start to feel it, it will change your vibration, re-write your DNA and completely change your life.

I can vouch for this, from personal experience. Love is the game changer. It will level up your life in every single way.

As Matt likes to say, manifestation is a game of cosmic word play. The universe and it’s field of infinite possibilities sends you whatever you focus on. Love yourself, and everything that comes into your field (even if it’s icky, love it for the experience it’s bringing you) and soon the only thing that you will receive from the universe is love itself. When you focus on love to the exclusion of all else, then there is only room for love which is the highest vibration.  When you are only focused on love, you aren’t focused on things like worry, grief, pain, anger, fear or other low vibrational things, so only that which is of the highest vibration will come into your field.  You start winning the game and everything in your life becomes miraculous. Living becomes a dance, rather than a slog through a muddy, painful obstacle course. As we love everything, our light becomes so radiant that it lights up the rest of the world.

Only in dreams is there anything by the highest vibration of light and the deepest vibration of truth. The Spiritual Journey is to wake up so we can know only the light of our being as the truth dancing in every form. – Matt Khan

The Love Revolution is here!

Come and join us. You have nothing to lose except all of those things of the lower vibrations, like pain and suffering. Who really wants that crap anyway? Well, we did, at first, for the experiences it brought to us. Pain and suffering forged and tempered our souls as we played the game of not knowing love to advance our soul’s evolution. But we’re done with the need for all that. It’s time to rise up, into a new vibrational consciousness and a new reality, of only love. Join us on the new Earth, which we are creating together by simply shifting our thoughts towards love. Apparently the Beatles were prophets and love really is all you need.

 

Compassionate Pisces- Softening My Gaze

Astrology, Wisdom from Within, , , , ,
New Moon, cc by 2.0
New Moon, cc by 2.0

We’re moving into a soft and dreamy Pisces new moon while the Sun is also in Pisces. Double the Pisces, double the love!

Pisces is the sign of the compassionate Bodhisattva, where the highest ideals of service to humanity are expressed. It’s the last sign of the zodiac, and the one with the highest vibrational attunement. Working in the Pisces realm means working with absolute divine love, Christ Consciousness and the ascended masters like Quan Yin, the goddess of compassion. Basically with our double Pisces energy right now, we’re being bombarded with universal love.

I know I can feel it… I’ve been pretty hard on myself lately for some reason, falling back into my perfectionist tendencies, and I’ve been beating myself up for these perceived imperfections. I know better, but that just becomes another reason to judge myself harshly :”You of all people should know better!” exclaims my inner monoluge! I had been berating myself for weeks,  but finally had a respite and I felt my inner voice soften over the last day or two. Suddenly I was able to see myself with the compassionate gaze I had been missing for sometime. My heart softened and I recognized that more than any harsh words, what I needed more than anything was loving compassion. I spent some time today sending these loving, compassionate and appreciative thoughts to my heart and to my body. It felt fantastic, as though a knot of tension I’d been carrying for weeks just melted away.

I want to invite you to soften your gaze as well, and see yourself through that lens of loving kindness and compassion. See just how beautiful you really are, and how you’re doing a such wonderful job. You’re learning exactly what you came here to learn, and you are perfect in your gloriously imperfect humanity.

I find it easy to see the rest of the world through this lens. I adore and admire every person on this planet for being brave enough to come down to this difficult place to learn all they can. Turning this loving gaze inward is what’s hard. I often hold myself to impossible standards that I would never set for anyone else. But today and in this new moon window, I’m trying! I’m feeling the freedom that comes from releasing myself from whatever unloving thoughts and self talk I was holding and replacing them with love. Nothing good comes from judging ourselves harshly.

As soon as we are all able to soften our gaze with loving compassion, we begin to really love ourselves  exactly as we are. This unconditional self love allows our inner radiance to shine more brightly, which in turn inspires others to do the same and makes the world a more loving place. It’s one of the easiest, yet most challenging things to do in the world, but we can take advantage of this new moon energy to plant the seeds of loving compassion everywhere we need in our lives, including our perceptions of ourselves. This is one way we can effect real change in the world, by starting right at home, by loving ourselves.

Me in Bali- photo by Cadencia Photography
Me in Bali- photo by Cadencia Photography

Love and Resistance

Inspiration, Spirit, , , , ,

meditationdifferences

I was at a hot yoga vitality class on Monday and we were doing a bit of breath work to start. The teacher asked us to set an intention for our practice. As we inhaled we would focus on our intention, expanding it within our core, and contracting the energy as we released anything no longer serving us with our exhale.

I chose to breathe in love, which I visualize as a gold or white light. I began by  exhaling that which is not love but that seemed kind of long and clunky. After a few breaths, I began to release resistance to love on the exhale. Breathe in love, breathe out resistance to love. A few more breaths  I wound up shortening it to simply breathing out resistance.

I felt tension melt away from my body and I found myself relaxed completely. Once I had let go of all resistance, the pattern spontaneously changed to inhaling love and exhaling love. Once the resistance was gone, love was all that was left. It was beautiful. It’s a feeling of perfect peace, like being home.

Starting the practice was challenging in my bliss-ed out state, but I was able to bring myself back to the breathing pattern often. It was a fairly fast paced and innovative class which made it harder to focus on breath, but the added challenge made it more satisfying to eventually lay back in shivasana, and just breathe in love and breathe out love, dripping with sweat,  head swimming, blissed -out on pure love and buzzing on endorphins, what a rush.

Since it was so effective at yoga, I tried incorporating this meditation into my day whenever I feel myself resisting. It was typically a resistance to the present moment, which is an incredibly useless endeavor.

Resistance to whatever happens to be just creates tension, which is felt physically, mentally and emotionally as stress.

Releasing resistance creates acceptance. Acceptance allows us to be perfectly present. If you stop resisting the present moment, you find peace. That doesn’t mean that you sit back and never take action if things aren’t as you’d like them to be.  On the contrary, it’s a powerful tool for effecting change.

Accepting the present moment just as it is provides illumination of just exactly what ‘is’ in that moment. This knowledge is powerful. It puts us in direct contact with source energy, (which is the vibration of love) and allows us to work directly with it. Once you start working with this energy, everything becomes easier. Seriously, life just gets better.

Releasing resistance to love means that you stop holding on to anything that is holding you back. It might be a pattern of behavior, beliefs you hold, or perhaps it’s fear;  fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being hurt, fear of being wrong, fear of being right. Fear holds all of us back in so many ways…. But as I kept writing out the word fear, it seemed to lose all meaning.

Once you let go of whatever weighs you down, you become limitless! With no resistance, no fear, we are suddenly weightless and free! Love comes rushing in to fill the space once filled by resistance to love and then that’s all there is.

 

Do What You Love And The Rest Will Follow

Inspiration, Spirit, , , ,
Spiral Galaxy by rommudoh cc by 3.0
Spiral Galaxy by Rommudoh cc by 3.0

Every life story spirals inward…

This is the story of the circuitous route I’ve taken to be where I am at this present moment and why I’m exactly where I should be.

Growing up, I always assumed I would have a white collar career, probably in academia. So how did I wind up working as a waitress at the age of 30, and why is it exactly what I want to be doing?

I  knew I wanted to teach… I’ve always felt like I had a lot to share with the world, but I don’t have the patience for young kids or teenagers so I thought I would wind up as a professor. Since I was fascinated by pretty much everything, I wound up studying Social and Cultural Anthropology (the study of man). Anthropologists study anything and everything to do with mankind through a particularly reflexive and qualitative lens- often through direct participant observation. Modern Anthropologists take care to understand how their personal perspective influences the way they see the world.

About halfway through my undergrad, I realized that as much as I loved the idea of academic research, writing and teaching, the politics of academics were not for me. Being a professor was out but I did know that I really wanted to help people in some way and wanted to make a difference in the world.   I looked at doing my masters in Social Work, and to accrue the hours I needed to apply, I began to work at The Distress Center in Calgary, first as a crisis line volunteer, then as a supervisor, training volunteers to answer calls. The same month I collected enough hours to apply (450 hours), they changed the requirements to over 2000 hours in a related field, which is basically 2 years of full time employment, so I scrapped that idea. I wasn’t invested enough to devote that much time to it.

Around the time I graduated, I was promoted at the dinner theatre where I worked throughout university from Box Office Manager to Operations Manager. It was amazing experience. I learned so much, including how much I love hosting and entertaining people, and making sure they have a great time, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do forever.

I thought travel writing would be an ideal way to use my degree and I had always had quite the wanderlust, so I started looking at booking an around the world trip. I wanted to go on adventures and blog about it, write travel articles and maybe a book one day. I spend a lot of time researching the logistics and lost myself in reading travel memoirs.

Around the same time,  I began having some incredibly deep and inspiring spiritual experiences… The awakening of my Kundalini energy at age 25 seemed to shift quite a few things around in my life and I remembered that my soul work was  in holistic healing. I didn’t see myself as a healer, so I figured I would work in administration and support… Funnily enough, I had made plans to found a holistic healing center at age 14 that I called Synergy Wellness, and then promptly forgot about it until then.

My interest in healing lead me to have some healing work done on myself. I began learning how to work with my intuition, and divine guidance. With this work, and some past life exploration  the fears that blocked me from wanted to actually be a healer myself were dissolved in light and I began to explore my options.

In October 2008, I decided to enroll in the Holistic Health Practitioner program at Grant MacEwan in Edmonton. It seemed like a fantastic coincidence that the intriguing fellow I had met that summer lived in Edmonton, and I had quite a few friends there as well. I was afraid that he would think I was moving there for him, even though we had just met… When I gave my notice to the theatre, my boss said I was moving to get married and have babies, not to go to school. I was so insulted I fumed for weeks. How dare he accuse me of moving to another city for a man? I really should apologize to him and let him know how right he was. After I moved to Edmonton, I realized the program wasn’t exactly what I was looking for and withdrew. I also realized the program was the universe’s way of moving me here far earlier than I would have otherwise.

I had taken a job as a server, thinking it would suit me well as a student. Then I realized serving was way more fun than managing a restaurant, so I didn’t look for other work. The money and hours suited me and I loved having so much free time to explore my new city… I was meeting so many amazing people and my relationship was going well. I felt a little stuck though… There were so many things I was interested in, I didn’t know where to focus.  I started to do my own research into different healing modalities. I learned about crystals, energy medicine, past lives and  I read voraciously about any topic that interested me. I considered taking so many  different training programs!  I thought very hard about becoming a hypnotherapist or life coach…  Then I discovered a fascination with pregnancy and birth and trained as a Doula… I loved the holistic approach, but realized the hours (on call 24/7) weren’t for me, even though I came to understand that supporting women through the birth process has an incredible impact on the physical, emotional and mental well being of the whole family!

I went on a soul adventure in Sedona and connected with my own ability to channel divine information and to share it… I came back inspired to write and began my first blog http://bringingyouohm.wordpress.com/ .

Then I broke my foot walking out my front door one February day. I was laid up for 2 months…. It was both the worst and the greatest thing that ever happened to me. There were so many lessons learned, which I have written about here:  http://wp.me/p12dXx-4v, but the two biggest ones were 1) I NEED to move and dance to be happy, and the other was I need sacredness in my life. Really, they’re two sides of the same coin, since movement  is my favorite way of connecting to the divine.

Once I discovered hoop dance, I had an excuse to dance all the time. The more it danced  it seemed, the better my life became. The more I danced, the happier I was. Every time I tuned into guidance from spirit, or my own self the message was he same. Keep dancing!!!

Eventually I realized this was my soul work; to dance and to facilitate dancing and connecting to spirit. It’ a holistic way of helping, healing and teaching just like I imagined.

So I kept on working as a server, where I’ve had the chance to practice spreading love and light in service to others while making as much money as I used to working only 25 hours a week. I’ve had the time I needed to learn about sacred movement and train as a conscious dance facilitator. Every thread of experience  and education I’ve had that seemed so unfocused is being woven together as I begin to develop classes and make plans to open a small studio (that wellness centre I dreamed of). I even plan to teach prenatal dance classes, weaving in more of my interests to the tapestry.

Everything is coming together in joyful movement, spinning all these separate ideas and experiences into one.

I’m so grateful for the words of wisdom shared by my parents when I was overwhelmed with choices in University.

They said ‘Do what what you love, and the rest will follow!’

Truth and wisdom right there folks, and that’s how I wound up right here, loving my life and living my dream.