Tag Archives: meditation

Dancing In Stillness, Welcoming Spring!

Elemental Forces Of Creation, meditation, Sacred Dance, Self Care, , , , , , , , ,
7
Photo by Stephanie T. Photography

I haven’t posted since the winter solstice. How interesting the first time I’ve been inspired to write again is the first day of spring! I’ve been spending all my time and energy gestating what will be my most beautiful creation, the little love warrior I’ve been dancing into being.

I’m 39 weeks pregnant today, and I’ve been feeling heavy. Mostly physically, but occasionally mentally and spiritually as well. Growing a person is energetically demanding and incredibly grounding. It feels a little too grounding for me at times. Having to slow down (way, way down) and surrender to stillness is a challenge for my fiery nature. I find myself occasionally getting frustrated with my bodies need for so much rest. I usually use activity, especially dance, to move through my emotions and balance my mood.  I was able to dance, move and work with more grace and ease than I expected to, right up until I finished teaching mid February but now seems like the distant past. This last month has been a process of accepting that in order to honor my body and take care of myself and the baby, I need to let go of the need I normally have to sweat it out.  I’m trying to remember I can get my dance on it other ways.

This morning, when I awoke and thought about the day ahead, time stretched out in a seemingly endless fashion before me. I’ve finished my to-do list, and the empty time seemed daunting. Then I found in my email inbox the first day of a new 21 day meditation experience with Deepak and Oprah called Shedding The Weight: Mind, Body and Spirit that I had signed up for a few weeks ago. Today’s meditation was called ‘Finding The Lightness In Your Life.’ It was amazing, beautiful and perfect timing as the The sun just moved into Aries and the wheel of the year has just turned to Spring. Personally, I really, really needed the reminder.

I don’t have a daily sitting meditation practice, but I’ve been meditating in some form for about 17 years and it never ceases to amaze me how beautiful it can be. I so often choose movement meditation over one sitting in stillness and I forget how good stillness can be. In today’s meditation, the mantra quickly fell away and I saw myself shedding the heavy, dense energy that had hardened around me over the last while. It cracked off in bits and pieces, revealing the brilliant light body underneath. I was reminded we are all the embodiment of conscious light, radiant stars that come to play and learn in this dense physical realm. I felt connected to all light everywhere in the universe and could feel myself as the rays of the sun shining down on the earth. As this light, I was pure love and compassion, and as I touched the faces of the beings on the planet, my heart overflowed with love for them all. I felt myself as every star in the multiverse, and the unending light of love flowing through every dimension. Back in my body, I could see the light of my daughter glowing within me, a soft golden glow, different in quality from my light, and I was once again reminded she’s coming here to teach me how to love in an even bigger way. I can’t wait to have my heart cracked open to experience these new dimensions of love and to dance with her in my arms.

I’ll be taking a hiatus from teaching until January 2017, but when I return, I will have so much more light and  love to share with you all. I can’t wait to dance with you again! Until then, if you want to get your hoop on, there are still classes happening with Infinity Hoopdance.

Wishing you all a Happy Spring!

32
Photo by Stephanie T. Photography

 

 

 

Experiencing Infinity (Thanks Deepak & Oprah!)

Adventures, Elemental Forces Of Creation, Inspiration, Spirit, Wisdom from Within, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0
Road to the Universe by BabyNoob cc by3.0

Another 21 day meditation with Oprah and Deepak, another transcendent experience on the first couple days.This journey is called Manifesting True Success. I think I made it there on the first try.

Seriously guys, it couldn’t have been any crazier. I went on an intense trip, beyond any non-hypnosis meditations I’ve done. I was not quite prepared for the all the awesome, nor did I expect success to look quite like this:

Day one”s mantra was Sheevo Hum, I am Infinity.

Here are the words I wrote immediately after my first meditation, while I was still flying high in an incredibly altered state of consiousness:

As I settled into silently repeating the mantra in my mind, I was immediately transported to a dimension where was consciousness without boundary. I became more fully identified with the infinite than I ever have before. It was…. all that is.

I first felt my being as I have felt it before, as a conduit to direct, focus and channel energy throughout creation. Then, I felt myself as the source of that energy. It was in the shape of  a Torus field, constantly replenishing itself.

Then, I felt my consciousnesses outside of creation, outside of time and physical/mental/causal dimensions. Outside of it all. I was, with my cosmic breath, exhaling all of the multi-verse into being, and collapsing it into itself on the inhalation. Each breath cycle was epoch and eons of time. Trillions and trillions of years inside, yet I was outside of time, and experience it all simultaneously. The rise and fall of countless, infinite civilizations happening in an instant. I felt myself divided into each soul having an experience outside myself, and then returning to merge into oneness.

Each soul, my child, my brother and sister, father and mother and own self, expanding and contracting in awareness and essence.

Infinity, I am.

We are all that which is.

The separation between you, I and all that is exists only within time and creation. Outside of time, it is all just me. Just you. Just one singular oneness from which all is birthed and all shall return.

Source is us. We are here to experience creation on a smaller scale, to play, to learn, to live, laugh, love, grow and cry. To separate and return. To experience just for experience’s sake. Infinite truly is all that is, and you are all of that, but it is love’s essence. The love of a mother for all that is.

I should meditate more often, but then again, it’s perfect that I don’t, because each time I return to the practice I becomes far more intense as I bring everything I have experienced into the moment with me.

It is all perfect.

I now know truly, who I am. Who we all are. I am so blessed and grateful to have seen through to this level. To have felt it viscerally. My love for all of creation multiplied an infinite number of times through this experience. Whew. How can I feel anything but love now that I have felt that consuming, abiding love of source (my source, our source).

Damn, that was great Oprah and Deepak. I should send y’all a card.

Today’s mediation was Ahem Prema, I am love. When I closed my eyes this time, I spend a few minutes enjoying a fuzzy warm love bubble that surrounded me, before I slipped again into infinite consciousness. I was once again outside of the multi-verse, breathing it in and out of existence, but this time as I inhaled, and everything in existence contracted and was drawn into me, it was the most gloriously beautiful, ecstatic feeling. I had always imagined the eventual contraction and collapse of the universe as a cold and sad thing, but it was just the opposite. It is a joyous return to oneness! Every piece of matter and mind that was separate felt the yearning and the pull towards source, as it rushed in faster and faster. As we ultimately became one the feeling of wholeness was beyond anything I could possibly ever describe. That pause between breaths is perfection and lasted an eternity.

When I exhaled and birthed all the universes into form once again, it was in an exhilarating rush outwards, towards expansion, exploration and freedom. The overriding feeling behind every breath, every moment was of perfect love. I wasn’t prepared for another mystical experience before my morning coffee, however, I’m always grateful to be blindsided by the light and love of all that is.

So thank you Deepak and Oprah, for creating the space for me to experience Infinite Love As I AM, as we all truly are. It’s definitely redefined the definition of true success for me.

There’s still time to sign up for the 21 day meditation challenge if you’d like to join us!

PH_OD

My First Float

Adventures, Self Care, , , , , , , , ,

A few weeks ago I had been complaining to my husband that I was really starting to feel my lack of space and time for myself at home (and in general). Everything from the lack of space to the almost constant noise of traffic was starting to grate on me and I was having a bit of a meltdown (just a little one, but still). My husband being the amazing genius that he is, who knows what I need better than I know myself had the brilliant idea that I should go for a float.

I had been wanting to do it forever, he said and of course he was right. Plus how much more peace, quiet and privacy can you get than being in a sensory deprivation chamber.

I found one close to my work in the city (there are float spas popping up all over the place these days)  and booked one for as soon as I was got back from a trip to visit family (it’s a great way to decompress after traveling). Now, the place I booked, Modern Gravity, is still setting up it’s commercial center, so I visited their demo tank which is in a renovated basement suite, but they’ll have what is sure to be an amazing set up by Kingsway Mall ready in January. Here are some pictures of the float suites they have on order:

Photo from Ocean Float Rooms Ltd
Photo from Ocean Float Rooms Ltd

Doesn’t that seem epic? The demo tank was a smaller version, a Samadhi tank like this:

Samadhi_tank2
Samadhi Tank, Image from Wikipedia

Not quite as glamorous, but it still did the trick.

These float tanks, also known as sensory deprivation chambers, isolation tank, float chambers, REST chambers, etc, all have tons of epsom salts dissolved into the water (mine had 850 pounds), which makes it super buoyant, so you float right at the top of the water, with your ears underneath, but your face and the top of your body out of the water, as in the picture above.

They are dark, although there is a light in there you turn off when you are ready to help you get settled in. It’s also very quiet, especially with the ear plugs I used to keep water out of my ears. The temperature is supposed to be about the same as your skin so you feel the boundary between skin and water dissapear. I started to get cold, so I turned on the environmental comfort control, which warmed things up quickly.

Before I climbed in, I had showered and then put vaseline over any little cuts or nicks on my body to keep them from stinging in the salt. (There was a thorough orientation on what to expect before starting). Once I climbed in, naked as the day I was born, I lay down and immediately realized I had some skin irritation on the back of my legs I hadn’t known about. I tried to ignore it, since I didn’t want to get out, but it itched and burned to the point that I opened the hatch, sprayed my legs down with water, dried them and added more vaseline.

Climbing back in, all lubed up, I lay back and tried to center myself in the tank. If you don’t, you wind up drifting gently into the sides. Then you have to center yourself again, rather than just push away or you’ll just ping pong around in there.

It takes some getting used to, and the first third of the 90 minute session seemed like it was just getting it all figured out. My body kept relaxing to deeper and deeper states and my mind wandered.
I did some mantra work and sent out love and gratitude to every one in my life which relaxed me further. It was very pleasant, until I had to pee.

Grr. I popped my head out and saw that I still had 45 minutes left in the session, so I decided to towel off to head to the bathroom. Getting situated in the center of the tank was easier this time and I felt like I relaxed again far more quickly.

After awhile, I did lose all track of my body and it felt like I was floating in space. I was perfectly at peace, perfectly relaxed. This was the Theta brain wave state that I was going for (The pre-sleep/hypnosis/meditation state that feels so good). The only annoying part was having to breathe.

If I could have just stopped breathing and absorbed oxygen directly through my skin that would have been lovely, because it was just my breath that kept me from feeling like I was a disembodied entity. I let the pauses in between inhalations and exhalations extend as long as I could and it was in those brief breathless periods that I felt most relaxed.

It was incredible, but just as I was sinking even deeper, the music came on to let me know my time was up.

I had been prepared by a few people I spoke to that this would be the case. The first float is mostly spent figuring out the logistics and getting used to being in the tank, and you only get a taste of the real experience of floating.

That little taste got me hooked though. I felt amazing afterwards. Refreshed and renewed, like I had just had a great nap. After showering off my skin felt so soft and amazing and my body felt like I had just gotten a massage. All the minerals in the salts are so good for you. We’re usually deficient in most essential minerals like magnesium and this infuses it directly into your skin.

I was already planning my return visit before I left (I bought their awesome 3 float pack, where you basically get a free float). I can’t wait to dive in more deeply to see where my mind will take me! I still feel more relaxed and peaceful recalling the experience a week later. I highly recommend trying it out yourself, at Modern Gravity if you’re in Edmonton, or find a center near you!

Desire and Destiny- Another 21 Day Meditation Experience

Challenges, Inspiration, Spirit, Wisdom from Within, , , , , ,
Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey
Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey

So Hum.

Our first mantra in this 21 Day Meditation Experience with Deepak and Oprah.

While it might sound like a statement of boredom or existential ennui, this mantra was more like a rocket ship to inner space exploration.

I’ve used it before, as have millions of people for thousands of years, meaning that those two little words carry an incredible power within them.

It means, I am.

The centering though Deepak offered as an additional layer of focus was: I am my deepest desire.

Then he asked the question ‘Who are you?”

He offered us a moment to consider this before introducing the mantra, and the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘I am that which is love’.

As Deepak mentioned, there is no right or wrong answer to the question of your own personal identity, but I know it’s something many of us have struggled with. Sometimes we use the labels we have in our lives to answer. I know as a teenager I liked to use the Meridith Brooks song Bitch with the lyrics “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I”m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed!” I love the song because it sums up our unity with all that is within all the messy contradictions contained in a human life.

As I was listening to Deepak’s introduction, I had immediately started sinking into a meditative state. It was like my whole being just couldn’t wait for the meditation to begin. By the time we officially began, I was already deep into altered state of consciousness.

I’m not sure what meditation feels like for anyone else, but once I’ve dropped in, quieted and focused my mind, I feel electric currents of energy running through me. There is a feeling of pressure on my third eye and crown, and I feel warm, tingly, fuzzy and incredibly alive.

As I repeat the mantra, So Hum, gently, slowly, just speaking the words in my mind, I begin to feel I am the witness to what is occurring in my mind. My consciousness is not what is repeating the mantra, my mind is, and I am observing it, yet I am in control of it as well. I keenly feel the difference between my mind (which is the unique combination of my physical brain and my soul) and my eternal spirit.

With many years of experience working in these altered states of consciousness, I have a few tools to take the meditation deeper, to another level, fusing it with energy work and personal healing.

I began running energy though my body in a microcosmic orbit. At first I have to consciously move the energy with my breath at first, but then it takes on a life of it’s own and my concentration on it is no longer required. This practice is used in all kinds of energetic disciplines, like reiki, chi gong and tantra. This accumulates energy within the body, and I believes it cleanses and cleans out your physical form.

I can feel my consciousness expanding outside of my body, and my awareness is sitting about half a foot above my head. I can feel myself inhabiting my whole auric field, and I bring my focus to my light body. Since my LBL hypnotherapy, I can easily connect with my higher self  and feel the sparkly blue, purple and white energy that radiates from my core. Sitting in my light body, I feel tangibly connected to my whole self.   I know who I am. This human body is a part of me, as I am part of it, but it is not all of me. It does not define me or limit me. I am here, inhabiting it in order to have a human experience. In order to feel the joy, pain  and freedom of expression of being in a physical form on this plane, at this time, in this dimension.

I am what I am. An eternal being of light, who came from the divine source which is only love in order to be an individual unique expression to add to the beauty and complexity of all that is. I exist to learn, grow, play, experience and to love. I choose to be here, right now in order to do those things on Earth.

My deepest desire is to love and to serve using my talents and gifts. These are to help you remember who you are, and to support you on your mission. In order to do that, I want to help you take very good care of yourself, because you are also an amazing, radiant being of light here on a mission to love, learn and grow. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt just how awesome you are. This is my destiny.

So Hum.

I have been repeating the mantra in my mind as my consciousness has been playing in layers of mysteries and understanding.

That is the beauty of meditation. It’s not just about focusing the mind, that’s just the first step which quiets the mind so you can hear your soul, feel the universe speak, see the spark of divinity that resides within you and know who you truly are.

2-VfHGaA5tkeEwx30i1BimatG9pWwcrEmrGfZSLgfHE
Photo by Cadencia Photography