Tag Archives: transformation

Emotional Oneness: The Inner Sacred Marriage

Matt Khan, my guru, inspiration and favorite champion of the Love Revolution has done it again.

He always manages to take concepts that I have been working on, working with and teaching, and take them to a whole ‘nother level. His most recent video on Emotional Oneness distills everything right down to the root it all.

Take the time to watch this video. It might be the most important thing you ever see. It basically boils down all the essential components to peace, joy and oneness in one hour long orgasm of awesome.

The main teaching is that emotional oneness (a precursor to the cosmic oneness that so many people on the spiritual journey are chasing) comes from a sacred union between the mind and the heart. If the heart and mind aren’t on the same page, he says you’re basically in the middle of a battlefield. The way to get reunite them is actually by deepening your relationship through your inner child, which is your soul’s innocence.

He goes through more of it in the video, explaining how you can reconnect and deepen your relationship to your inner child. He also explains how our shadow side is just our inner child acting out when we haven’t given it the attention it craves… He notes hilariously how it can turn every bit of spiritual wisdom you’ve ever learned against you so nothing separates  you from it.

The crazy part of it is, your inner child, your innocence, is the guardian of your soul.  Once you do this healing work and your inner child feels listened to and trusted, it starts to open up all the doorways to abundance and cosmic oneness that were closed to you before, which is the real secret to creation and manifestation.

All the inner child wants  is honesty and self love. Oh, and to play. It needs to play, to express, be and be loved!!!

This is the what I’ve been working and saying for the last couple years, but I always couched it in terms of my body  and my soul. I’ve done a little inner child work, but obviously not enough!!! The exercise we did together halfway through the video had tears streaming down my face and I felt something in me shift and I’m so grateful to have experienced this teaching. It really is the most important thing. The thing that will help everything else dance gracefully  into place.

Matt is a master, who is here to guide us with revolutionary ideas about spirituality. He breaks down old paradigms and old ideas and replaces them with new, simple tools for the new energy and paradigm we’re in. It all starts with loving yourself, one ‘I love you’ to your heart at a time. It’s the love revolution!!!! Please join us!!!~

 

 

 

Reflections On The Apocalypse

My journey towards a year of really listening to my body and practicing radical self care began with a bang on Dec 21, 2012, which just happened to coincide with the end of an age in the Mayan Calender, that infamous date you may remember, had been heralded as the apocalypse.

I was at an epic Christmas party that night, performing on stage then staying with some friends for dinner and drinks when I started to feel like something wasn’t quite right with my insides… I dragged my husband out of there, and sped home knowing that once things started, there would be no stopping until my entire body was emptied of whatever was offending it.

I barely made it home, and proceeded to spend the next few hours in a process of ‘enlightenment’… Without being graphic, just know that I certainly felt a lightness and a spaciousness at the end of the process.

As I lay on my bathroom floor, exhausted and wrung out, I felt completely safe, and oddly peaceful. It was quite unlike the last time I had experienced something of this nature, when I wound up taking a trip to the ER in an ambulance wearing an adult diaper, needing shots of Gravol and IV fluids. This time, I knew that as soon as I was cleaned out… I would be OK on my own.

The whole time this was happening, the symbolism of being cleaned out and purified was vividly in my mind and I meditated on the real meaning of the apocalypse on that day. I had been looking forward to Dec 21st, 2012 for sometime, as I felt it was a doorway in time we were passing through, after which things would change. I wasn’t worried it was the end of the world as so many alarmists predicted but rather, I had a feeling it was to be the end of the world as we know it. I’m not gonna lie, that R.E.M song was in my head the whole time. I later learned that the root  of the Greek ‘apokalupsis’ , means revelation, or to uncover. All the new age-y spiritual texts I had been reading, as well as my own intuition told me it really was going to be the beginning of a new energy here on earth, into a new era of consciousness. What I didn’t realize was just how personal this journey would be.

I wound up purging from me physically, energetically and spiritually things that were no longer serving me that night and the process continued throughout the year. I felt so peaceful and light the next day, I didn’t want to mess up that feeling, so I became really careful about what I was putting in my body. The night of the party, I had eaten lots of things that I knew my body doesn’t really love: sugar, dairy, wheat, and some fish that tasted funny, but I didn’t spit out, cause I didn’t want to be rude. It was basically a disaster  waiting to happen, and the revelation that came to me through that was that I needed to lighten up and listen to what my body was telling me.

I spend the week after that dramatic night really enjoying my new found attention to my body and it’s desires, so I decided to make a practice and a project out of it. I spent the year listening to my body and it had quite a lot to say. Looking back I clearly see the magic of the solstice as well as that whole Armageddon energy at work here. Whatever you put your attention on during the solstice is what will be created during your year. I didn’t sew these seeds of intention consciously, but the organic timing of nature and the universe was certainly working through me here.

I’m not sure if my year was technically up on Dec 22nd or if it will be January 1st, 2014, but it doesn’t matter because it turns out it wasn’t a short term project with a final date of completion. It was really more the start of a lifelong journey of conscious co-operation, communication and honesty with myself.  It’s made my life so much better, in practically every way. I’m healthier, more peaceful and having more fun than I could have imagined by living in harmony with my body, mind and soul, connecting more deeply with my own inner wisdom every day. Sure it’s been kind of a pain in the butt sometimes, but the gifts that have come into my life have been so rewarding they’ve more than made up for whatever challenges I’ve faced.

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by Cadencia Photography

Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with what my apocalypse revealed.

Sacred Circularities Sedona 2013

My Sacred Circularities experience in Sedona was so jam packed with amazing transformational experiences, I don’t think it can be properly conveyed with mere words. To give you a real sense of  how I feel about it would require enthusiastic hand gestures, jumping up and down and a few funky dance moves thrown in. Maybe some fireworks and an orchestra playing in the background as well. So, as I share the experience with you,  imagine a symphony accompanying my words and maybe a choir of angels, or castrato altar boys. Maybe some explosions too, just at the dramatic parts.

Ok, now I feel like maybe I’ve built it up too much. Instead of the symphony and chorus of heavenly host, imagine Djembe and Hang drums with African rhythms, Native American Flutes, sacred mantras sung in harmony, the crackle of a roaring bonfire and the whoosh of a fire hoop. Oh, and coyotes cackling in the not so far off distance.  Also, imagine being in the Arizona desert in the fall, so the air is cool but the sun is warm,  on acres of incredible desert terrain, surrounded by the stunning red rocks on land dedicated to meditation and spiritual enlightenment, surrounded by vistas like this:

Mago Retreat Center, photo by Beth Lavinder
Mago Retreat Center, photo by Beth Lavinder

The Mago retreat center is gorgeous!  About half an hour from any other developments, down a red dirt forest service road, it feels like you’re in the middle of nowhere.  As you drive in, the first thing you’re greeted with after the gate is a figure like this friendly Taoist master, who I keep thinking of as a wizard. Definitely sets the tone for the magical feeling  you get from this land.

Taoist wizard staff spinning statue at Mago. Remind you all of anyone we know?
Taoist wizard staff spinning statue at Mago. Remind you all of anyone we know?

Everything about the retreat center exudes peace, serenity and healing. After checking into my casita, home for the next week, I wandered the grounds to find my bearings. I came across the swimming pool and a very epic tribute to another Taoist master.  The weather was perfect and I was so happy to be there with a little time to myself to soak it all in before loosing myself in the upcoming spiritual shenanigans.

As I approached Earth Hall, our venue for the week,  a giant globe popped up out of the desert, surrounded by statues of children playing. In a half circle around the kids were giant golden statues of spiritual masters; Jesus, Mary, Confucius, Chief Seattle, Mohammed, and a Taoist master, all beatifically looking down upon the children and the earth, holding space for all of our work this weekend.

Photo by Beth Lavinder
Photo by Beth Lavinder

Our first official event was a meet and greet which of course turned into a hoop jam. Just seconds into playing with my Synergy hoop I fell into the absolute bliss that I had been longing for. The swirling vortex energy coming from the earth had been calling me to dance in it for years.

After a delicious first meal together where we may or may not have honored the mindful speech posters peppering the dining hall, we returned to Earth hall for a Sacred Cacao  opening ceremony.  The energy within our circle was so vibrant and alive! Looking around at all the bright shining faces I knew some radical transcendence was going to transpire over the week. Our night was punctuated by the laughter of coyotes outside the hall, and many of us could feel the presence of something bigger than us descend into the room. Perhaps it was the Sacred Circularties oversoul, along with all our guides, ancestors, spirit animals, totems and friends, along with all the elementals, devas and nature spirits, the energy of the divine source, and all other beings of the highest vibration who were there to support our journey. We called it all in.

There were so many amazing classes, and moments after that I’ll have to just share a few highlights, but every class was worthwhile and appreciated. I loved starting my mornings with Qi Gong with Shelly White Light. The first session I went to was great,  but it was the second day when we had a smaller, intimate group journey with the same warrior’s breath exercise that was really incredible for me. The emotion and energy that moved through the group brought us individually and collectively to tears. It felt like a deep lineage healing and clearing on behalf of all women, as well as a profoundly personal healing.

The dream workshops with Jane Carlton were also incredible for going deep, deep within yourself. The shamanic drum journeys were vivid and wild.  First I journeyed into a wolf’s den with my spirit animal, where he accepted me into his pack, only to play a horrible prank on me (spirit has a wicked sense of humor). Then I wound up shifting my perspective to several other creatures’ points of view,  from the wolf, to an ant walking between giant blades of grass, all the way down to an amoeba.

On a second shamanic drum journey in a subsequent, more intimate workshop with Jane, we journeyed to find our healing pools. I found mine in a different, very exotic dimension. That was another journey with aspects shared by our small group, many of us seeing elements of each others’ dreams, like phosphor-luminescence, canopy beds and a representation of our divine masculine consort. So much fun to know you’re traveling as a pack in dream space.

The Theta Healing with Jocelyn Gordon was another profound group meditation journey. We connected up to divine source energy and came back down together, healing and downloading new programs of thought and belief systems to upgrade our lives. I’ve done many of these journeys alone, but I find the energy of the group really heightens the experience. After our journey, I could feel how we were all vibrating at a higher frequencies.

There were of course, many great hoop classes over the week. I learned some super badass new breaks from Ann Humphreys  and appreciated core hooping all over again with Anah Reichenbach (Aka Hoopalicious). Anah also had us plank, do jumping lunges and dance as weirdly as we possibly could. Fantastic fun was had by all (except during the lunges, those were hard!) Rainbow Michael blew our minds equating Anti-spin to planetary movement and cosmic alignment. Jocelyn Gordon kicked our butts and reminded us that LIFE IS AWESOME! (Oh yes, it is!) in her HoopYogini classes and Julia Hartsell unlocked some amazing spiral movements in her sustained spinning workshop.

A major highlight of the week for me was playing with texture and possibilities in Beth Lavinder’s workshops. She equated hoop dance and movement to textures in fabric, saying when she watched someone hoop, she could feel the texture of their dance. Such a beautiful, apt metaphor that I completely understand as a very tactile person. Watching Beth dance feels like silky smooth satin, and dancing with Beth feels like magic.

There were a couple workshops that really combined spiritual and transformational aspects with active movement, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Julia Hartsell’s ecstatic spin jam was the first, and it was so easy to drop in and bliss out with her spectacular play list. Khan Wong’s two movement classes involved deeply witnessing a partner’s soul essence through movement and art. I feel as if you can’t help but fall in love with the person you witness when you see them move authentically. My partner (whom I was so deeply moved by and honored to witness) said we need to get the whole world to do this with each other. Imagine that… to see the authentic soul essence of a stranger would be to suddenly know them intimately. How different the world would be.

The Five Elements Ecstatic Dance and African dance classes with Malaika were so incredibly wonderful and powerful. In all of them she created such a community feel, inspired by African villages… We danced, sang, laughed and moved together as one tribe, one entity. I also had the privileged of booking a Lomi Lomi massage with her, a Hawaiian spiritually based body work modality that was one of the most wonderfully holistic healing experiences I’ve had to date.

There were also two amazing Yin yoga/sound healing classes lead by Rainbow Michael. The first was so relaxing, we were all puddles of blissfully resonant ooze at the end. There was a spin jam scheduled for afterwards, but I think we all just went to bed instead (at least my wonderful roommate and I did).  The second class was just before the  closing ceremony. Rainbow was careful not to melt us into puddles again, but the long, relaxing poses stretching all the fascia, ligaments and connective tissues in our bodies was the perfect way to end the retreat.

It wasn’t until the last full day that I wandered into the healing garden, but I’m sure it was perfectly timed. I may have spent too much time there if I had known about it earlier in the week. It’s a vortex site with a beautiful lake, with many a spot to sit and meditate and soak in the energy.

My blissful waterfront meditation. Photo by Beth Lavinder
My blissful waterfront meditation. Photo by Beth Lavinder

That might have been the most relaxing part of the week, although our trip out to Boyton Canyon and dinner at the Chocola Tree were right up there as well. Did I mention they provided a smoothie service to us in between classes? YUM! Then there was also the divine Hoop Kirtan experience and the ridiculously fun talent showcase where we saw talents of all kinds explode from our friends (SO MUCH TALENT!) I also can’t forget our full moon fire ceremony where we popped quite a few fire hooping cherries! I had the opportunity to briefly double fire hoop for the first time, to live drumming. It was indescribable to have the chance to play  and dance under the full moon in ceremony with  my Sacred Circularities tribe.

I want to give huge props and a million thank you’s to Jaguar Mary, the Divine Creatrix of Sacred Circularities.

Her royal purpleness, Jaguar Mary. Photo by Jessie HoolaHoops McGee
Her royal purpleness, Jaguar Mary. Photo by Jessie HoolaHoops McGee

The schedule was absolutely perfectly made and she was able to hold such a safe, peaceful container for all of us to shed our skins, open ourselves up, be transformed and taken to the next level. I can only begin to imagine the intricacies of throwing such an event, but she handles it all so gracefully. She also had a few wonderful, radiant volunteers who I thank deeply, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you’s also go out to every single person who was there. Thank you for being so profoundly authentic and willing to share your experience and transformation with us all.  You each have a piece of my soul and I will hold space for all your hopes and dreams in my own heart.

Photo by Cadencia Photography
Photo by Cadencia Photography

Dance. It Makes You Better.

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This awesome stencil that I found somewhere on facebook really says it all. I don’t know where it came from (if it’s yours or you know who I can attribute it to, please let me know). But it’s so succinct, I had to share.

‘Every time I dance, I turn into a better version of me’.

Here’s an example:

A couple years ago, two days before my wedding, I was getting a little stressed out about the details. I was snappy, defensive and felt like everything was a looming disaster.  My husband and sister couldn’t talk me down, so they just handed me a hoop and said “Dance! We’ll be back in an hour or so. Just dance it out.”

Of course after 15 minutes of moving to music everything seemed right in the world again. An hour later, I couldn’t even remember what I had been upset about.  (BTW, I wasn’t a bridezilla at all. That was one of only two times I kind of freaked out. I was a chill bride, I swear!)

Anyway. Some people run to blow off steam, some people knit. I love to dance, with or without my hoops because it makes me better in every way, every time I do it.

It’s great exercise obviously, and it gets all your endorphins going, so you feel good doing it (and afterwards), but unlike just running or doing yoga, I get to be creative. It’s easy to drop into that beautiful flow state  that sends my conscious mind to the back burner while my body and spirit take the wheel. I feel a sense of peace and oneness that transcends the personal experience I’m having and puts me in touch with the greater picture.

Dancing makes me happy. It feels celebratory. Or, it can feel incredibly emotional in other ways; sad, angry, lonely, scared… But dancing out those emotions is so cathartic that it swings back to happy. Or at least peaceful.

For years, whenever I’ve asked for guidance (from above, from my inner self, from the universe, which ever), the message I almost invariably receive is ‘Dance!’.

Not only does it make me better, it makes the world better. Every time you dance, you make the world a better place. Even if it’s a dance of sadness, of pain, of anger or frustration, it makes the world better.

Dancing is the expression of your essence. As you move, you let yourself be known.

“Dance is the only art of which we ourselves are the stuff of which it is made.”

Ted Shawn

This art, this essence expression makes you a better version of yourself. Every time you move authentically, you level up at life. You are here to be you. Every time you dance, you let your soul qualities shine through. Through dance, you  allow your most radiant self to shine through.

“As we let our light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others.”- Marianne Williamson

 

Imagine a world where everyone allowed their most radiant inner light shine through.

What would that look like?

What would that feel like?

Imagining it gives me  warm fuzzies and chills all at the same time.

Our joyful movement raises the collective vibration and illuminates the world.

Our dance is revolutionary.

“Just Dance.”

-Lady Gaga

I’ll leave you with a great hoop dance jam I had the other day.

I found some music that moved me, almost to tears and I had to hoop it out.

Five Elements Ecstatic Dance in Bali

We started our journey outside the wantilan, standing on the roots of a giant tree as Malaika smudged us with sage one by one, blessing us and clearing away any energy we no longer needed. As the fragrant smoke wafted over me, I released all the energy holding me back from being completely present in the moment and invited in all my personal power.

I entered the wantilan and took a moment at the altar, bowing to Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles. Then I walked to the back and stared out at the rice fields, stretching and grounding into my body, working out all the kinks from hooping my heart out at Hoop Kirtan the night before.

Once everyone had been smudged and cleared, we gathered in a circle while Malaika explained the path we would take as we journeyed through the five elements together. This shamanic journey came to her through spirit and is focused on breath. We had a different breathing pattern for every element, which we familiarized ourselves with before we began.

We started on the floor, laying down and exploring the feeling of the earth underneath us. It felt comfortable and safe on the beautiful dark wood. As we rose up, we grew roots into the earth to connect us deeply to Her spirit.

Dancing with Air has a beautiful expansive quality and the music was dreamy and ethereal, but drove us forward. We found partners and gently put our third eyes together, inhaling in unison, exhaling Aloha to each other, switching partners many times, connecting deeply with everyone we met.

Moving into Earth we started a powerful Sufi breath pattern where we inhaled twice with a long exhale as we stamped our feet in a primal rhythm to the drums. The energy became primal as we danced with our sister, and brought in the spirits of our mothers and grandmothers. It was intoxicating and liberating as we sent energy down into the Earth and received it in turn.

Awakening the Fire element, we stood in a circle and shook ourselves. We shook and shook and shook for ages. It was intoxicating to completely surrender to the flames by shaking every inch of my body, shimmying and shaking my entire being. There were primal yells, grunts guttural cries and moans in an orgasmic release of everything no longer serving us into the Flame. My entire body is still tingling. Once we stopped shaking, we spun out of the circle and into our goddess power, embodying Shakti, Lakshmi, Svaraswati and all the goddesses in all the realms. Some of us picked up our hoops and danced into our power with their spiraling universal energy.

Finally slowing down, moving into water, we explored our bodies with the reverence reserved for the most sacred of things. Touching each part in turn with sincere gratitude and love, with promises to treat our temples with the utmost respect and love. We then found partners and turned our movements into a contact dance, slowly moving together, feeling each others flesh, blood and breath as our own. We split off into groups and merged into new ones, finding support and safety in each other.

We ended up together in a puddle on the floor, utterly spent, limbs tangled, perfectly content and at peace in meditation. I didn`t want to get up, I just wanted to stay and bliss out in that pile of loving cuddles, but after a few minutes we sat up and closed our journey by passing around the seed of a cacao plant. We spoke two words as we held it. One was how we felt at that moment and the other was our gift to the world. Themes emerged. We all felt peace, clarity, love, bliss and gratitude in the moment, and many of our gifts were similar as well. Light, love, inspiration, passion, sincerity, sensitivity…..

It was such an honor to share this space with such beautiful, powerful and radiant women. The journey was transformative. Our states of consciousness were altered into higher dimensions through movement, breathwork and the loving guidance of Malaika, who is the embodiment of inspiration and joyful earth magic. We re-emerged lighter, stronger and more powerful beings. This was one of the most intensely immersive dance experiences I’ve had. It truly as a shamanic journey and I feel such a strong connection to everyone and everything, and intense gratitude that I am here right now, in Bali at www.sacredcircularities.com