I had weird little episode of super intense, unexpected emotion this evening that I wasn’t sure what to make of until I read this piece on the Gemini full moon from Virgo Magic.
I was enjoying a relaxing unscheduled evening off, deeply appreciating a bit of break after working 60 hours last week, (with 5 more shifts to go in the next three days before two weeks off!!!)
I was just about to make some dinner when I became kind of irrationally angry and upset. It was really hard to place the emotions at first. Things just felt like they were bubbling up inside me with no rhyme or reason. After a few minutes of talking with my amazingly supportive, loving and understanding husband (who basically just took over cooking for me so I could relax and figure out why I was suddenly in tears), I realized that everything I was feeling was surrounding my body image. I was frustrated by my ability to simultaneously hold unconditional love for myself and my body while still feeling inadequately not perfect enough.
I l felt all of our cultural and social expectations and beliefs about women’s bodies weigh upon me like a thousand pounds of sorrow. It was so odd, and seemingly came out of now here. I had to spend some time grieving for all of us. Afterwards I realized that I was releasing and clearing some heavy stuff not only for myself, but on behalf of humanity.
I didn’t realize why until I read this passage “…The Gemini Full Moon reveals thought patterns, mental tapes and belief systems that undermine our ability to listen to intuitive guidance and envision and create a more positive future…”
Body image and self love are huge issues for myself and people everywhere, but we are making so much progress. Every day I read some body positive article on facebook, and I see more and more people reaching out and supporting each other with love and compassion. We still have a ways to go, but I’m grateful for the full moon bringing this up for me, as frustrating as it was to be blindsided by all those intense feelings. I’m happy to be doing the healing work for myself and for the collective consciousness and I feel lighter now as well as more aware of just how deep some of this pain runs.
I’m excited to move forward into the new year with a renewed vow to love myself and my body in all ways, and to continue to show my love and respect by taking the best care of it that I possibly can, in all ways.
While it might sound like a statement of boredom or existential ennui, this mantra was more like a rocket ship to inner space exploration.
I’ve used it before, as have millions of people for thousands of years, meaning that those two little words carry an incredible power within them.
It means, I am.
The centering though Deepak offered as an additional layer of focus was: I am my deepest desire.
Then he asked the question ‘Who are you?”
He offered us a moment to consider this before introducing the mantra, and the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘I am that which is love’.
As Deepak mentioned, there is no right or wrong answer to the question of your own personal identity, but I know it’s something many of us have struggled with. Sometimes we use the labels we have in our lives to answer. I know as a teenager I liked to use the Meridith Brooks song Bitch with the lyrics “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I”m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed!” I love the song because it sums up our unity with all that is within all the messy contradictions contained in a human life.
As I was listening to Deepak’s introduction, I had immediately started sinking into a meditative state. It was like my whole being just couldn’t wait for the meditation to begin. By the time we officially began, I was already deep into altered state of consciousness.
I’m not sure what meditation feels like for anyone else, but once I’ve dropped in, quieted and focused my mind, I feel electric currents of energy running through me. There is a feeling of pressure on my third eye and crown, and I feel warm, tingly, fuzzy and incredibly alive.
As I repeat the mantra, So Hum, gently, slowly, just speaking the words in my mind, I begin to feel I am the witness to what is occurring in my mind. My consciousness is not what is repeating the mantra, my mind is, and I am observing it, yet I am in control of it as well. I keenly feel the difference between my mind (which is the unique combination of my physical brain and my soul) and my eternal spirit.
With many years of experience working in these altered states of consciousness, I have a few tools to take the meditation deeper, to another level, fusing it with energy work and personal healing.
I began running energy though my body in a microcosmic orbit. At first I have to consciously move the energy with my breath at first, but then it takes on a life of it’s own and my concentration on it is no longer required. This practice is used in all kinds of energetic disciplines, like reiki, chi gong and tantra. This accumulates energy within the body, and I believes it cleanses and cleans out your physical form.
I can feel my consciousness expanding outside of my body, and my awareness is sitting about half a foot above my head. I can feel myself inhabiting my whole auric field, and I bring my focus to my light body. Since my LBL hypnotherapy, I can easily connect with my higher self and feel the sparkly blue, purple and white energy that radiates from my core. Sitting in my light body, I feel tangibly connected to my whole self. I know who I am. This human body is a part of me, as I am part of it, but it is not all of me. It does not define me or limit me. I am here, inhabiting it in order to have a human experience. In order to feel the joy, pain and freedom of expression of being in a physical form on this plane, at this time, in this dimension.
I am what I am. An eternal being of light, who came from the divine source which is only love in order to be an individual unique expression to add to the beauty and complexity of all that is. I exist to learn, grow, play, experience and to love. I choose to be here, right now in order to do those things on Earth.
My deepest desire is to love and to serve using my talents and gifts. These are to help you remember who you are, and to support you on your mission. In order to do that, I want to help you take very good care of yourself, because you are also an amazing, radiant being of light here on a mission to love, learn and grow. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt just how awesome you are. This is my destiny.
I have been repeating the mantra in my mind as my consciousness has been playing in layers of mysteries and understanding.
That is the beauty of meditation. It’s not just about focusing the mind, that’s just the first step which quiets the mind so you can hear your soul, feel the universe speak, see the spark of divinity that resides within you and know who you truly are.
My Sacred Circularities experience in Sedona was so jam packed with amazing transformational experiences, I don’t think it can be properly conveyed with mere words. To give you a real sense of how I feel about it would require enthusiastic hand gestures, jumping up and down and a few funky dance moves thrown in. Maybe some fireworks and an orchestra playing in the background as well. So, as I share the experience with you, imagine a symphony accompanying my words and maybe a choir of angels, or castrato altar boys. Maybe some explosions too, just at the dramatic parts.
Ok, now I feel like maybe I’ve built it up too much. Instead of the symphony and chorus of heavenly host, imagine Djembe and Hang drums with African rhythms, Native American Flutes, sacred mantras sung in harmony, the crackle of a roaring bonfire and the whoosh of a fire hoop. Oh, and coyotes cackling in the not so far off distance. Also, imagine being in the Arizona desert in the fall, so the air is cool but the sun is warm, on acres of incredible desert terrain, surrounded by the stunning red rocks on land dedicated to meditation and spiritual enlightenment, surrounded by vistas like this:
The Mago retreat center is gorgeous! About half an hour from any other developments, down a red dirt forest service road, it feels like you’re in the middle of nowhere. As you drive in, the first thing you’re greeted with after the gate is a figure like this friendly Taoist master, who I keep thinking of as a wizard. Definitely sets the tone for the magical feeling you get from this land.
Everything about the retreat center exudes peace, serenity and healing. After checking into my casita, home for the next week, I wandered the grounds to find my bearings. I came across the swimming pool and a very epic tribute to another Taoist master. The weather was perfect and I was so happy to be there with a little time to myself to soak it all in before loosing myself in the upcoming spiritual shenanigans.
As I approached Earth Hall, our venue for the week, a giant globe popped up out of the desert, surrounded by statues of children playing. In a half circle around the kids were giant golden statues of spiritual masters; Jesus, Mary, Confucius, Chief Seattle, Mohammed, and a Taoist master, all beatifically looking down upon the children and the earth, holding space for all of our work this weekend.
Our first official event was a meet and greet which of course turned into a hoop jam. Just seconds into playing with my Synergy hoop I fell into the absolute bliss that I had been longing for. The swirling vortex energy coming from the earth had been calling me to dance in it for years.
After a delicious first meal together where we may or may not have honored the mindful speech posters peppering the dining hall, we returned to Earth hall for a Sacred Cacao opening ceremony. The energy within our circle was so vibrant and alive! Looking around at all the bright shining faces I knew some radical transcendence was going to transpire over the week. Our night was punctuated by the laughter of coyotes outside the hall, and many of us could feel the presence of something bigger than us descend into the room. Perhaps it was the Sacred Circularties oversoul, along with all our guides, ancestors, spirit animals, totems and friends, along with all the elementals, devas and nature spirits, the energy of the divine source, and all other beings of the highest vibration who were there to support our journey. We called it all in.
There were so many amazing classes, and moments after that I’ll have to just share a few highlights, but every class was worthwhile and appreciated. I loved starting my mornings with Qi Gong with Shelly White Light. The first session I went to was great, but it was the second day when we had a smaller, intimate group journey with the same warrior’s breath exercise that was really incredible for me. The emotion and energy that moved through the group brought us individually and collectively to tears. It felt like a deep lineage healing and clearing on behalf of all women, as well as a profoundly personal healing.
The dream workshops with Jane Carlton were also incredible for going deep, deep within yourself. The shamanic drum journeys were vivid and wild. First I journeyed into a wolf’s den with my spirit animal, where he accepted me into his pack, only to play a horrible prank on me (spirit has a wicked sense of humor). Then I wound up shifting my perspective to several other creatures’ points of view, from the wolf, to an ant walking between giant blades of grass, all the way down to an amoeba.
On a second shamanic drum journey in a subsequent, more intimate workshop with Jane, we journeyed to find our healing pools. I found mine in a different, very exotic dimension. That was another journey with aspects shared by our small group, many of us seeing elements of each others’ dreams, like phosphor-luminescence, canopy beds and a representation of our divine masculine consort. So much fun to know you’re traveling as a pack in dream space.
The Theta Healing with Jocelyn Gordon was another profound group meditation journey. We connected up to divine source energy and came back down together, healing and downloading new programs of thought and belief systems to upgrade our lives. I’ve done many of these journeys alone, but I find the energy of the group really heightens the experience. After our journey, I could feel how we were all vibrating at a higher frequencies.
There were of course, many great hoop classes over the week. I learned some super badass new breaks from Ann Humphreys and appreciated core hooping all over again with Anah Reichenbach (Aka Hoopalicious). Anah also had us plank, do jumping lunges and dance as weirdly as we possibly could. Fantastic fun was had by all (except during the lunges, those were hard!) Rainbow Michael blew our minds equating Anti-spin to planetary movement and cosmic alignment. Jocelyn Gordon kicked our butts and reminded us that LIFE IS AWESOME! (Oh yes, it is!) in her HoopYogini classes and Julia Hartsell unlocked some amazing spiral movements in her sustained spinning workshop.
A major highlight of the week for me was playing with texture and possibilities in Beth Lavinder’s workshops. She equated hoop dance and movement to textures in fabric, saying when she watched someone hoop, she could feel the texture of their dance. Such a beautiful, apt metaphor that I completely understand as a very tactile person. Watching Beth dance feels like silky smooth satin, and dancing with Beth feels like magic.
There were a couple workshops that really combined spiritual and transformational aspects with active movement, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Julia Hartsell’s ecstatic spin jam was the first, and it was so easy to drop in and bliss out with her spectacular play list. Khan Wong’s two movement classes involved deeply witnessing a partner’s soul essence through movement and art. I feel as if you can’t help but fall in love with the person you witness when you see them move authentically. My partner (whom I was so deeply moved by and honored to witness) said we need to get the whole world to do this with each other. Imagine that… to see the authentic soul essence of a stranger would be to suddenly know them intimately. How different the world would be.
The Five Elements Ecstatic Dance and African dance classes with Malaika were so incredibly wonderful and powerful. In all of them she created such a community feel, inspired by African villages… We danced, sang, laughed and moved together as one tribe, one entity. I also had the privileged of booking a Lomi Lomi massage with her, a Hawaiian spiritually based body work modality that was one of the most wonderfully holistic healing experiences I’ve had to date.
There were also two amazing Yin yoga/sound healing classes lead by Rainbow Michael. The first was so relaxing, we were all puddles of blissfully resonant ooze at the end. There was a spin jam scheduled for afterwards, but I think we all just went to bed instead (at least my wonderful roommate and I did). The second class was just before the closing ceremony. Rainbow was careful not to melt us into puddles again, but the long, relaxing poses stretching all the fascia, ligaments and connective tissues in our bodies was the perfect way to end the retreat.
It wasn’t until the last full day that I wandered into the healing garden, but I’m sure it was perfectly timed. I may have spent too much time there if I had known about it earlier in the week. It’s a vortex site with a beautiful lake, with many a spot to sit and meditate and soak in the energy.
That might have been the most relaxing part of the week, although our trip out to Boyton Canyon and dinner at the Chocola Tree were right up there as well. Did I mention they provided a smoothie service to us in between classes? YUM! Then there was also the divine Hoop Kirtan experience and the ridiculously fun talent showcase where we saw talents of all kinds explode from our friends (SO MUCH TALENT!) I also can’t forget our full moon fire ceremony where we popped quite a few fire hooping cherries! I had the opportunity to briefly double fire hoop for the first time, to live drumming. It was indescribable to have the chance to play and dance under the full moon in ceremony with my Sacred Circularities tribe.
I want to give huge props and a million thank you’s to Jaguar Mary, the Divine Creatrix of Sacred Circularities.
The schedule was absolutely perfectly made and she was able to hold such a safe, peaceful container for all of us to shed our skins, open ourselves up, be transformed and taken to the next level. I can only begin to imagine the intricacies of throwing such an event, but she handles it all so gracefully. She also had a few wonderful, radiant volunteers who I thank deeply, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you’s also go out to every single person who was there. Thank you for being so profoundly authentic and willing to share your experience and transformation with us all. You each have a piece of my soul and I will hold space for all your hopes and dreams in my own heart.
Just days after my remedial manifestation lesson, I’ve been reminded of a truth about myself and self care.
I need to move and dance in order to be happy. I really learned this lesson when I had a broken foot and couldn’t dance for 2 months. Over the years, I’ve made movement a part of my daily life and I make sure I dance a few times a week at least.
A shoulder injury I sustained while sleeping (how lame is that?!?) the day after I returned from my epic journey to Arizona has kept me pretty chill for the last 2 weeks. I have only hooped when I needed to, when performing at and rehearsing for the Fierce Woman Awards last week. I also had to pare down my daily yoga routine to just a few simple stretches to keep me from seizing up. Today was the first time I was able to chaturanga without too much pain.
I was actually surprised my ability to keep it together even without my daily routine of movement. I thought I had become dependent upon it to function, addicted to it in lieu of coffee in the morning. I was fine though. More than fine, my mood since I’ve been back has been as high as it’s ever been. Joyous really. I felt amazing. My cup was filled up to overflowing in Sedona and everything just kept being awesome. That is, until yesterday.
Yesterday, by the afternoon, I felt cranky with no real reason. My husband was cranky as well, and I blamed it partially on him… I tend to have a hard time being happy when he’s cranky. The no sugar thing has been hard for him, since he doesn’t actually like bitter tasting foods. I should have been prepared for this. He even warned me.
But I just couldn’t get into anything yesterday, and felt vaguely frustrated and disinterested in all things even when I went to bed.
I woke up feeling better today, but still not quite my shiny, happy radiant normal state. That is until I put on a grizmatik track as I was making coconut manna cookies in the kitchen. Coming through my new nifty Bose speaker it sounded SOOO GOOOD and it was SOOOO FUNKY I couldn’t help myself. I had a dance party in my kitchen. My shoulder did not feel awesome but the rest of my body and soul had outvoted it.
After 5 minutes of getting down, slip sliding, popin’ and lockin’ and booty shaking in my fuzzy slippers lifted my soul up and into the stratosphere.
OH YEAH, I remembered. I need to move. If I don’t, energy gets stuck in my body and interpreted as frustration. I knew this from experience, and it was confirmed during that hypnosis session. I’ll wonder what’s wrong with me and the world, when I all need to do is shake my groove thing. Dancing is one of the most healing and transformational activities on the planet.
I can’t believe I forget that sometimes.
The beautiful icing on the cake was sitting down, moments later to the beginning of my creation coach class only to find the topic was ‘Transforming Energy Through Dance..’ Thanks for the gentle reminder universe!!!
My cats Moo and Q have been driving me crazy at night ever since I got back from Sedona. Actually, it’s been for longer than that, but maybe the 10 days of blissfully uninterrupted sleep has made me notice how annoying it is to be woken several times a night by a cat meowing at my door.
The problem developed when they were wee little kittens.
They were way too crazy at night to sleep with when they were little. Not only would they get into everything in the room and make lots of noise, but they also would attack toes and faces while we slept, so they were always eventually kicked out of the bedroom when we went to sleep.
When I inevitably woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, Q would be waiting for me by the door. She’d be adorably affectionate, purring and rubbing against my legs. She’d even follow me into the bathroom and try to jump on my lap for cuddles. Since she’s not an overly cuddly cat during the day, I was suckered in by the show of affection. I would pet her and tell her I loved her and probably said a lot of really dumb things.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was being woken by her teeny tiny meows that were barely audible. As a kitten, she barely squeeked. Someday, probably when she was a teenager, she found her voice and her meows were now loud enough to jolt me out of my dreams. At this point, I found it far less cute, but I was still too much of a softy to punish her. I would just tell her to stop. Sometimes I would chase her. Sometimes I would spray her with water, but nothing seemed to deter her.
I’m pretty sure she would put her face right down into the crack of the door and HOWL!
Unfortunately for women every where. A cat’s meow sounds a lot like a baby’s cry. They manipulate our weakness for poor helpless infants. Sadly, many men seem immune to the sound.
I could hear these meows right though my ear plugs and white noise machine. Sometimes it got so bad that I would hear phantom meowing while I was trying to fall asleep.
On Friday night, she got me up 6 times. Sadly, I just couldn’t really get mad at her (I told you, I’m a sucker). She just wants to be with me and the only reason she can’t is because her brother meows if he’s in the room while we’re trying to fall asleep.
That’s right. One meows when he’s in the room with us. The other meows when she’s outside it.
GAH! Silly part Siamese cats. Sometimes I wished I didn’t love them so much and I wasn’t such a pacifist, because I felt like doing them harm would feel so good!!!!
You can see I was getting a little desperate.
A turning point happened the other day when I read the phrase “What we resist persists” and something clicked.
I realized that in many ways I was resisting them being in the room out of sheer stubbornness. I wanted to know what might happen if I decided to welcome them into to room instead, shifting my perspective.
I also realized that I had been begging them to ‘Stop meowing!’ In my sleep deprived haze, I forgot the primary rule of manifestation. State what you intend to create in the positive, not the negative.The universal laws of manifesting work like computer programing. You can’t tell a computer not to do something. You can only tell it to do something.
When I commanded “Stop meowing!”, all it and they (and the universe) heard was “Meowing!”
I changed my language to the positive desired outcome.
” Be quiet, kitties and you’ll get to stay in the bedroom!” I may have also said please. Good manners never go out of style!
So on Saturday night, after setting my intention to “having quiet, undisturbed sleep” and having a small talk with my cats, I kept the door open and went to sleep.
The only time I heard a meow was when Jeremy kicked Moo.
I make sounds when people kick me too.
This new arrangement has worked beautifully so far. I have hear the occasional meow, and been stepped on once or twice by a cat, but by and large I’m getting far more sleep. I’m also shaking my head that it’s taken me 2 years to figure it out. I’ll leave you with another strange picture of my dear, sweet, strange cats.
There was so much awesome packed into my trip to Sedona, AZ that I don’t even really know where to begin. I got back a week ago, but I still need some time to really absorb and integrate all the experiences.
I don’t even really feel ready to be writing about it, but I’m sure there are at least one or two of you out there who are dying to hear some details. Honestly, I think I’ll be processing all I learned and all it opened up in me for the rest of my days, it was so chock full of awesome.
I started my adventure by flying into Phoenix, making loads of friends at the airport since I was carrying my silver, gold and bronze hoops onto the plane. I wore them across my shoulder, coiled down, and many people stopped to stare, did a double take or just had to ask what they were. There were a surprising number of folks who knew they were hula hoops and thought it was awesome!!!
After renting a car and getting a free upgrade to a Toyota Camry (from a Kia or something), I set off on the open road. I love driving int the desert, and the two hours passed like nothing as I listened to my audio book, Destiny of Souls. While I was getting sleepy towards the end of my drive, the energy of Sedona hit me like a wave of inspiration as soon as I entered the beautiful town.
I checked into my West Sedona motel, The Sugar Loaf Lodge. which was incredible for $77 US a night, with comfy beds and a little fridge and microwave. It really was way better than I expected. Apparently it used to be the crack motel back in the day, but it’s clean, quiet and crack free now!
Anyway, after a light dinner of Kale Ceasar salad and gluten free cheesy bread at the Organic Italian Kitchen called Picazzo across the street, I went to bed at the unbelievable hour of 8:30 pm (which was 9:30 my time, but still seemed ridiculous to me).
I woke up at 6am and made my way to the kitschy Red Planet Diner for BREAKFAST IN SPACE!!!!
It’s basically a UFO themed diner. As an avid space enthusiast and Sci-Fi geek I really enjoyed my omelet and green tea in this setting. Sadly, the food itself was not space themed.
After breakfast, I wandered around in a natural grocery store marveling and drooling at all the gorgeous, delicious, healthy things we don’t have at home (yet). Then I made my way to Chanda’s house for my life between lives hypnotherapy session (which I explained in this post: http://wp.me/p32wA4-6B).
Chanda and I had really hit it off during our phone consultation. What should have been a 20 minute call turned into an hour long chat, so it was no surprise that we started talking like long lost friends the second I sat down. In fact, I was enjoying our conversation so much, I actually forgot why I was there. After about an hour, she mentioned getting started, and I was jolted back to the task at hand with the thrill of excitement and anticipation.
The actual hypnosis session lasted 2-3 hours. It began with deep relaxation, visualization and memory recall exercises. I felt incredibly safe, relaxed and comfortable and I slipped into a hypnotic trance as easily as I’d imagined. Although I’d never been formally hypnotized before, I’m very familiar with a trance state of deep relaxation through all the meditation, shamanic journeying and energy work I’ve done.
We went through my childhood, into my mothers womb and back through a tunnel into a significant past life . We used the death scene from that life as a jumping off point into the spirit realm. I felt myself observing the end of my life from the outside of my body. Turns out I tend to escape just before the final moments of my life whenever I see death coming. No sense in sticking around to feel that kind of pain. Once free of my body, I was eager to head home and I outpaced the instructions Chanda was giving me, arriving there within seconds. The first beings I met with upon my return greeted me warmly, reassuring me that life ended appropriately and that everything was all good. It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the light and to be able to really focus on the others in my presence. They appeared as luminous, radiant beings made of sparkly light. I recognized my primary guide and another one who worked with me in the past as well as my husband from that last life who had arrived here a few years ahead of me.
I spend time meeting and talking with some friends and family members from this life, as well as with my council. I also had the opportunity to see some glimpses of the kind of work I do over there (some kind of inter-dimensional energy balancing involving light, color and sound). The overwhelming feeling I had the whole time was one of overwhelming joy. I felt almost giddy really, and there was so much laughing and joking around. Few of my close companions are very serious, some of them are down right silly. I had such a shit-eating grin on my face the whole time my cheeks ached for hours afterwards.
The longer I was there, the deeper the hypnotic trance became and the more vivid every image, sight, sound and feeling became. It was incredible in every way, and re-affirmed every I knew to be true about myself and the nature of our soul’s eternal existence. It was hard to want to leave that high vibration, but you expend a TON of physical, mental, spiritual and emotional energy reaching that state in your human body, and it can’t be sustained indefinitely. Suddenly, you just become tired, and you know it’s time to come back into your body fully.
Coming back was a snap, once I was ready. I knew that I’d be able to go back in meditation now that I’d been there in my conscious mind. Sitting up was hard, but once I did, I was incredibly grateful to be back in my body, knowing I had chosen it very specifically for my time here on Earth. Honestly, I’d never felt quite so alive and at home in my body, which seems almost ironic.
After debriefing and chatting some more with Chanda, I realized I needed to eat. After showing her a little hoop dance stuff, we reluctantly parted ways.
I fed myself, browsed a few crystal shops, caught the sunset at the Airport Mesa, skyped my sister to share the experience and fell asleep by 9pm again!
Waking with the sun, I stretched, ate and had a spectacular Shamanic Astrology reading with Sedona Jeannie. It was another amazing session that gave me so much awesome information myself. I almost wish it has been before the LBL though, because it’s pretty hard to follow a sojourn actually into the spirit realm.
I felt like I could have headed home after those two days, irrevocably changed for the better, but I had another whole intense week of personal transformation and exploration at the Sacred Circularities hoop Dance and movement mediation retreat at the Mago Retreat center. I’m going to save the details for my next post, but suffice it to say that it was just as chock full incredible awesome as the first two days of my journey.
The theme for me seemed to be one of deeply connecting to people, which was foreshadowed in my shamanic astrology session. SC in Bali seemed to be more about personal purification, but this was much more inter-connected and grounding. Every class was incredible and I was so honored to witness countless moments of deep transformation and awakening for many people. To quote one of the inspiring facilitators, Shelly White Light, I fell deeply in love with each and every person there.
We were all witness to the purity and greatness in each other. It was incredibly raw and tender, as well as being incredibly powerful. We had so much fun and really honestly raised the vibration of the world through the work we were doing together, dancing a new world into being.
After a glorious week, leaving all my new friends was actually painful, but the blow was softened since I didn’t have to head home right away. I was spending a day and a half with my family in Phoenix, some of whom I hadn’t seen since my last trip to Sedona 4 years prior.
We had a wonderful time reconnecting with each other and I had the time of my life when my uncle took my cousin and I to the Musical Instrument Museum.
My favorite part was the experience gallery where can try many of the awesome instruments displayed elsewhere. It’s also my 2 and 4 year old cousins favorite place in the gallery. I was apparently running around like a kid in a candy store, trying everything I could get my hands on. But haven’t you always wanted to try playing the harp, a giant Chinese xylophone or a theramin (the electronic instrument Sheldon has on Big Bang Theory?)
I’m sure I’m going to have to go into more detail about all these incredible adventures, but Ill save those for next time!
Today is the tail end of the 3 day Virgo new moon window. The sun is also in Virgo right now giving us a double dose of this amazing earthy energy. It’s the perfect time to work on organizing the details in your life, which is great timing for everyone back to school, or back to work in September here.
The Virgo archetype is one celebrating dedicated sacred work. This is the priest/ess energy which is serves the world though honoring and understanding the natural rhythms of life, and all the details surrounding it. This energy is dedicated, organized and practical. There is a deep commitment to serving the world through their work.
This is unfamiliar energy to some of us. There has often been a deep separation between the sacred and the mundane in our culture. The Virgo priest/ess energy imbues a sense of sacred within all those mundane, practical details of life. There is a deep sense reverence for everything that occurs in nature, and in the life cycle and a deep connection to the divine feminine mysteries.
This energy has been somewhat lost and misunderstood over the years, but we’re returning to it now. There is a deep awakening of this energy happening on the planet, and many people are feeling a deep desire to reclaim our connection to it.
For many years now, I’ve identified with this priestess archetype. Everything I’ve read of the priestesses honoring the divine feminine, worshiping and serving the Goddess has resonated with me deeply. I remember flashes of past lives where I served in temples and dedicated my life to this sacred work. I feel a deep connection to this divine feminine energy that leaves me with a sense of longing for more it in my life. I know when I work consciously with this energy I feel whole.
It’s with great excitement that I am choosing to bring more of this energy into my life. I’m activating the Priestess archetype within me by going through a ceremonial initiation called The Priestess Process with my dear teacher Lisa Michaels. Here she has written 10 blessings Received from Becoming Priestess, to give you some idea of why I’m doing this.
We began the initiation process yesterday during this new moon window, and we will finish on Beltane (May 1st), and emerge as Priestesses. I am so thrilled to begin this journey of actively embodying this archetype within myself. Every woman I have met who has done this ceremonial energetic activation has this amazing energy running through her. It’s powerful and I can’t wait to experience it again (I know I’ve done this before, in many lives). I’m also so thrilled to be living in a time when it’s safe for women connect to their divine feminine power. It’s always been our birthright, but the pendulum of culture had swung far to the other side, celebrating the divine masculine mysteries almost exclusively. I believe we’re spiritual whole only when we are able to unite our divine feminine and masculine aspects within ourselves, in a sacred marriage. Without both, we are incomplete beings.
If this is something that resonates with you, you still have time to join us (until Sept 27, 2013). We’d love to have you along for the journey for The Priestess Process
Today I’ve been guided to spend time releasing old irritations I’ve had with everyone in my life, including myself. I’ve never really been one to hold a grudge, and I’ve forgiven all the major grievances I’ve ever had with anyone, but I hadn’t given much thought to those minor grievances and annoyances.
I have been rereading Doreen Virtue’s book “The Lightworker’s Way“, and I came across a section that I must have just skipped over last time. I seem to recall reading it and thinking I would come back to do the exercise, but never did. The basic premise is that holding any unforgiveness creates blocks in your energy field which will interfere with your intuition and your health. To begin clearing this energy, write down the name of everyone who has every irritated you. The list will probably be pages and pages long. You can include yourself, people you haven’t thought of in years and years, even pets! Then, in a distraction free environment, go through the names on your list one by one, holding the mental image of the person as you say (aloud or in your head) “I forgive and release you. I hold no unforgiveness back. My forgiveness is total. I am free and you are free.”
It might take a half hour to go through the list. I started by speaking aloud, but eventually switched to speaking in my head. As well as individuals, I started picturing whole buildings (like former places of employment), and cities (all the cities in which I’ve lived). After this process, I felt incredibly light and definitely free. Like I cleared out so much gunk in my soul and being, which feels awesome. I feel like I made more room for all the awesome stuff like love and joy as I released resentment and irritation which had been with me for years!
Doreen also recommends doing a quick version of this every night, before going to sleep to clear the energy field. I imagine I’ll sleep better after doing this and I can’t wait to try it.
Shortly after doing this exercise, a video came up in my facebook newsfeed from one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Matt Khan from True Divine Nature. It’s called The Ultimate Surrender:
I highly, highly recommend watching this, to have forgiveness re-framed for you entirely. In fact, watch everything he has on Youtube. He transmits a beautiful, relaxing divine energy when he speaks, and the energy reminds me that there is nothing to forgive, as everything, including you, is perfect as is.
I’m always looking for ways of increasing the awesome quotient in my life!
A few years ago I discovered that I could bring far more awesome into my life by not being too specific when I was calling in energy, wishing, hoping, praying or manifesting. Instead of asking for a certain outcome like increasing my income, I just started asking the universe for more awesome, in whatever form it takes.
As creative as I am, I feel like the universe has a much better perspective on things and I don’t want to limit myself to whatever happens to be in my imagination.
I’ve recently stumbled upon a fantastic new magical visualization for turning up the awesome in my life. It’s from the book Divine Magic by Doreen Virtue which is her translation of The Kybalion which was written in 1908, purported to be the essence of the teachings of the Egyptian sage named Hermes. Sounds a little obscure, I know, but it’s a life changing book.
The visualization is based on the principle of polarity, which states: Any two things which seem to be opposites are in fact the same thing, just on different ends of a spectrum. As an example light and darkness are two extremes of the pole called ‘illumination’. Hot and cold are two extremes on the pole of temperature.
The Kybalion says “The difference between things diametrically opposed to each other is merely a matter of degree”. To shift something up or down the pole simply requires changing it’s vibration. To heat something up, you are literally agitating the molecules so they move more quickly.
You can work with this principle of divine magic energetically by visualizing a pole with a lever on it. Virtue uses the prosperity pole as an example, with poverty at the bottom and prosperity at the top. As you visualize sliding the lever up as high as you can, you will be raising your own energetic vibration surrounding money and prosperity.
You can imagine a whole soundboard with poles for every aspect of you life. Finances, relationships, health, happiness, success, anything at all!
Now, raise the levers on all them, up as high as you can! Max it out if possible.
I find that some levers slide easily and some take a bit more metal pressure. Once I’ve raised them up, I like to imagine an beam of white light locking them in place.
Then I turn my attention to the master control.
I see it in my minds eyes as a pole on it’s own board with a sparkly lever. The whole thing is pretty glittery and disco. It’s labeled ‘Awesome’.
I then mentally raise the awesome lever, taking my time, feeling the resistance and friction. It doesn’t always slide up easily, but once it’s at the top, I notice that I do in fact, feel more awesome.
I can literally feel my energy vibrating at a higher level. I usually feel kind of tingly and super excited about life!
Try it and let me know what you think!
It’s been so effective I’ve incorporated it into my morning routine, and I’ve definitely notice an increase in all things awesome in my days.
We started our journey outside the wantilan, standing on the roots of a giant tree as Malaika smudged us with sage one by one, blessing us and clearing away any energy we no longer needed. As the fragrant smoke wafted over me, I released all the energy holding me back from being completely present in the moment and invited in all my personal power.
I entered the wantilan and took a moment at the altar, bowing to Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles. Then I walked to the back and stared out at the rice fields, stretching and grounding into my body, working out all the kinks from hooping my heart out at Hoop Kirtan the night before.
Once everyone had been smudged and cleared, we gathered in a circle while Malaika explained the path we would take as we journeyed through the five elements together. This shamanic journey came to her through spirit and is focused on breath. We had a different breathing pattern for every element, which we familiarized ourselves with before we began.
We started on the floor, laying down and exploring the feeling of the earth underneath us. It felt comfortable and safe on the beautiful dark wood. As we rose up, we grew roots into the earth to connect us deeply to Her spirit.
Dancing with Air has a beautiful expansive quality and the music was dreamy and ethereal, but drove us forward. We found partners and gently put our third eyes together, inhaling in unison, exhaling Aloha to each other, switching partners many times, connecting deeply with everyone we met.
Moving into Earth we started a powerful Sufi breath pattern where we inhaled twice with a long exhale as we stamped our feet in a primal rhythm to the drums. The energy became primal as we danced with our sister, and brought in the spirits of our mothers and grandmothers. It was intoxicating and liberating as we sent energy down into the Earth and received it in turn.
Awakening the Fire element, we stood in a circle and shook ourselves. We shook and shook and shook for ages. It was intoxicating to completely surrender to the flames by shaking every inch of my body, shimmying and shaking my entire being. There were primal yells, grunts guttural cries and moans in an orgasmic release of everything no longer serving us into the Flame. My entire body is still tingling. Once we stopped shaking, we spun out of the circle and into our goddess power, embodying Shakti, Lakshmi, Svaraswati and all the goddesses in all the realms. Some of us picked up our hoops and danced into our power with their spiraling universal energy.
Finally slowing down, moving into water, we explored our bodies with the reverence reserved for the most sacred of things. Touching each part in turn with sincere gratitude and love, with promises to treat our temples with the utmost respect and love. We then found partners and turned our movements into a contact dance, slowly moving together, feeling each others flesh, blood and breath as our own. We split off into groups and merged into new ones, finding support and safety in each other.
We ended up together in a puddle on the floor, utterly spent, limbs tangled, perfectly content and at peace in meditation. I didn`t want to get up, I just wanted to stay and bliss out in that pile of loving cuddles, but after a few minutes we sat up and closed our journey by passing around the seed of a cacao plant. We spoke two words as we held it. One was how we felt at that moment and the other was our gift to the world. Themes emerged. We all felt peace, clarity, love, bliss and gratitude in the moment, and many of our gifts were similar as well. Light, love, inspiration, passion, sincerity, sensitivity…..
It was such an honor to share this space with such beautiful, powerful and radiant women. The journey was transformative. Our states of consciousness were altered into higher dimensions through movement, breathwork and the loving guidance of Malaika, who is the embodiment of inspiration and joyful earth magic. We re-emerged lighter, stronger and more powerful beings. This was one of the most intensely immersive dance experiences I’ve had. It truly as a shamanic journey and I feel such a strong connection to everyone and everything, and intense gratitude that I am here right now, in Bali at www.sacredcircularities.com