I had weird little episode of super intense, unexpected emotion this evening that I wasn’t sure what to make of until I read this piece on the Gemini full moon from Virgo Magic.
I was enjoying a relaxing unscheduled evening off, deeply appreciating a bit of break after working 60 hours last week, (with 5 more shifts to go in the next three days before two weeks off!!!)
I was just about to make some dinner when I became kind of irrationally angry and upset. It was really hard to place the emotions at first. Things just felt like they were bubbling up inside me with no rhyme or reason. After a few minutes of talking with my amazingly supportive, loving and understanding husband (who basically just took over cooking for me so I could relax and figure out why I was suddenly in tears), I realized that everything I was feeling was surrounding my body image. I was frustrated by my ability to simultaneously hold unconditional love for myself and my body while still feeling inadequately not perfect enough.
I l felt all of our cultural and social expectations and beliefs about women’s bodies weigh upon me like a thousand pounds of sorrow. It was so odd, and seemingly came out of now here. I had to spend some time grieving for all of us. Afterwards I realized that I was releasing and clearing some heavy stuff not only for myself, but on behalf of humanity.
I didn’t realize why until I read this passage “…The Gemini Full Moon reveals thought patterns, mental tapes and belief systems that undermine our ability to listen to intuitive guidance and envision and create a more positive future…”
Body image and self love are huge issues for myself and people everywhere, but we are making so much progress. Every day I read some body positive article on facebook, and I see more and more people reaching out and supporting each other with love and compassion. We still have a ways to go, but I’m grateful for the full moon bringing this up for me, as frustrating as it was to be blindsided by all those intense feelings. I’m happy to be doing the healing work for myself and for the collective consciousness and I feel lighter now as well as more aware of just how deep some of this pain runs.
I’m excited to move forward into the new year with a renewed vow to love myself and my body in all ways, and to continue to show my love and respect by taking the best care of it that I possibly can, in all ways.