I’ve never been entirely comfortable in the watery emotional realms.
I’m more of an fire and earth kind of gal. Air is cool too, but feelings, well… They made me uncomfortable. It’s taken years of active personal and spiritual work to get to a place where I not only appreciate feelings as an important part of the human experience, but actually as a good thing rather than just an irritating inconvenience one had to put up with in exchange for being able to play in human form.
Now I understand their role and I’m grateful for how much they teach us.
Today I received an email newsletter from the wonderful hoop dancer/yogi and wild woman Shakti Sunfire that had some beautiful words about the Cancer Full Moon:
“The Cancer Full Moon on January 15-16 speaks to the power of your emotions. Feelings are your indicators. Feelings show you that you are on the right path. Feelings demonstrate what is true for you. You create music, art and writing from the passion of your feelings. Cancer rules feelings. Cancer is about your soul power. You are being asked to pull up your personal power. Allowing your feelings to guide you because your feelings are your truth. Being balanced in your male and female energy will empower you.” -Words of wisdom from the luminous Kelley Rosano.
I love how simple Kelley makes it. “Feelings are your indicators”. You feel good, great! Do more of what makes you feel good. Feeling bad? This is an indicator something has to change in your life. Maybe it’s the situation, or maybe just your perception or attitude about the situation needs to change. You can’t control how you feel, which is what makes feelings such valuable indicators of your reality, as you see it.
The cultural emphasis has been on logic, reason and other yang ways of knowing for so long that the more intuitive and feeling side of knowledge has been devalued and often completely disregarded. Feelings aren’t imperical. They can’t be fully measured or even understood completely by anyone outside of the personal who is feeling them. Feelings are indicators of our own personal truth and that’s what makes them dangerous and subversive to the norm. They encourage individual exploration of what is true and right for the individual.
Nothing is more universal AND individual than the way we feel.
This full moon is a fantastic time to take stock of your own emotions. In order to do this, you have to slow down, and take the time to turn inward for long enough to explore how you feel.Once you’ve tuned into this vulnerable part of yourself, nurture it in whatever way feels best to you. Find a way to creatively express your feelings, and if they are guiding you to make any changes in your life, let the full moon help you gracefully release what is no longer serving you, to make room for a more beautiful possibility.
Happy New Year to you all!!! I know I’m a little late to the party, but the month had a busy start!
I spend the first few hours of 2014 in Cuba, swimming naked in the ocean under the stars with some friends. It was one of the most magical and sublime nights of my life.
The early morning air had just enough chill to make the water feel like it was hugging you with it’s warmth. When I wasn’t giggling, and jumping through waves, I was looking up at the stars. I wanted to get lost in them, but then a wave would knock into me and I would start to pay attention to the ocean again. I felt completely safe and utterly cradled in Gaia’s arms. I was as full of gratitude as I have ever been.
While we were frolicking and cavorting in the water, my husband (my hero) was bribing a guard to keep us from getting kicked out of the resort! Apparently night swimming is frowned upon, but the ocean was full of New Year’s Eve reveler’s.
It was the perfect way to start a new year. Completely at home in my body, in the ocean even in another part of the world. It was one of those transcendental experiences where you feel the deepest connection to everything as part of yourself. Perfectly fitting for my theme for the year, Radical Self Love. Last year’s theme of Radical Self Care taught me so much and I’ll continue to glean lessons from my body for the rest of my days, but this year I want to focus less on self care and self improvement, and more on sheer loving acceptance of myself as a perfectly imperfect being. It’s not that I’m done with striving for improvement, but I want to relish in loving every part of the process, every part of the journey and every part of myself.
I’m excited to be here, right now, on the other side of the epic year of 2013. Self love,
(which is sounding dirtier the more I type it) in all forms feels like it will help me integrate all the lessons I’ve been plowing through over the last while. I’m keep to slow down a bit and really enjoy. I know I’ll be traveling less, and writing more. I want to write about this last year, so I may not be blogging as much… But I’ll still be thinking of you, and sending you love.
My journey towards a year of really listening to my body and practicing radical self care began with a bang on Dec 21, 2012, which just happened to coincide with the end of an age in the Mayan Calender, that infamous date you may remember, had been heralded as the apocalypse.
I was at an epic Christmas party that night, performing on stage then staying with some friends for dinner and drinks when I started to feel like something wasn’t quite right with my insides… I dragged my husband out of there, and sped home knowing that once things started, there would be no stopping until my entire body was emptied of whatever was offending it.
I barely made it home, and proceeded to spend the next few hours in a process of ‘enlightenment’… Without being graphic, just know that I certainly felt a lightness and a spaciousness at the end of the process.
As I lay on my bathroom floor, exhausted and wrung out, I felt completely safe, and oddly peaceful. It was quite unlike the last time I had experienced something of this nature, when I wound up taking a trip to the ER in an ambulance wearing an adult diaper, needing shots of Gravol and IV fluids. This time, I knew that as soon as I was cleaned out… I would be OK on my own.
The whole time this was happening, the symbolism of being cleaned out and purified was vividly in my mind and I meditated on the real meaning of the apocalypse on that day. I had been looking forward to Dec 21st, 2012 for sometime, as I felt it was a doorway in time we were passing through, after which things would change. I wasn’t worried it was the end of the world as so many alarmists predicted but rather, I had a feeling it was to be the end of the world as we know it. I’m not gonna lie, that R.E.M song was in my head the whole time. I later learned that the root of the Greek ‘apokalupsis’ , means revelation, or to uncover. All the new age-y spiritual texts I had been reading, as well as my own intuition told me it really was going to be the beginning of a new energy here on earth, into a new era of consciousness. What I didn’t realize was just how personal this journey would be.
I wound up purging from me physically, energetically and spiritually things that were no longer serving me that night and the process continued throughout the year. I felt so peaceful and light the next day, I didn’t want to mess up that feeling, so I became really careful about what I was putting in my body. The night of the party, I had eaten lots of things that I knew my body doesn’t really love: sugar, dairy, wheat, and some fish that tasted funny, but I didn’t spit out, cause I didn’t want to be rude. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen, and the revelation that came to me through that was that I needed to lighten up and listen to what my body was telling me.
I spend the week after that dramatic night really enjoying my new found attention to my body and it’s desires, so I decided to make a practice and a project out of it. I spent the year listening to my body and it had quite a lot to say. Looking back I clearly see the magic of the solstice as well as that whole Armageddon energy at work here. Whatever you put your attention on during the solstice is what will be created during your year. I didn’t sew these seeds of intention consciously, but the organic timing of nature and the universe was certainly working through me here.
I’m not sure if my year was technically up on Dec 22nd or if it will be January 1st, 2014, but it doesn’t matter because it turns out it wasn’t a short term project with a final date of completion. It was really more the start of a lifelong journey of conscious co-operation, communication and honesty with myself. It’s made my life so much better, in practically every way. I’m healthier, more peaceful and having more fun than I could have imagined by living in harmony with my body, mind and soul, connecting more deeply with my own inner wisdom every day. Sure it’s been kind of a pain in the butt sometimes, but the gifts that have come into my life have been so rewarding they’ve more than made up for whatever challenges I’ve faced.
by Cadencia Photography
Honestly, I couldn’t be happier with what my apocalypse revealed.
I had weird little episode of super intense, unexpected emotion this evening that I wasn’t sure what to make of until I read this piece on the Gemini full moon from Virgo Magic.
I was enjoying a relaxing unscheduled evening off, deeply appreciating a bit of break after working 60 hours last week, (with 5 more shifts to go in the next three days before two weeks off!!!)
I was just about to make some dinner when I became kind of irrationally angry and upset. It was really hard to place the emotions at first. Things just felt like they were bubbling up inside me with no rhyme or reason. After a few minutes of talking with my amazingly supportive, loving and understanding husband (who basically just took over cooking for me so I could relax and figure out why I was suddenly in tears), I realized that everything I was feeling was surrounding my body image. I was frustrated by my ability to simultaneously hold unconditional love for myself and my body while still feeling inadequately not perfect enough.
I l felt all of our cultural and social expectations and beliefs about women’s bodies weigh upon me like a thousand pounds of sorrow. It was so odd, and seemingly came out of now here. I had to spend some time grieving for all of us. Afterwards I realized that I was releasing and clearing some heavy stuff not only for myself, but on behalf of humanity.
I didn’t realize why until I read this passage “…The Gemini Full Moon reveals thought patterns, mental tapes and belief systems that undermine our ability to listen to intuitive guidance and envision and create a more positive future…”
Body image and self love are huge issues for myself and people everywhere, but we are making so much progress. Every day I read some body positive article on facebook, and I see more and more people reaching out and supporting each other with love and compassion. We still have a ways to go, but I’m grateful for the full moon bringing this up for me, as frustrating as it was to be blindsided by all those intense feelings. I’m happy to be doing the healing work for myself and for the collective consciousness and I feel lighter now as well as more aware of just how deep some of this pain runs.
I’m excited to move forward into the new year with a renewed vow to love myself and my body in all ways, and to continue to show my love and respect by taking the best care of it that I possibly can, in all ways.
I love when I read something that feels like it came directly from my own spirit.
December 2013’s theme of Adjustment, according to Lena Stevens from The Power Path, (which I first read on Mystic Mama ), speaks to what my personal mission has been all year .
“This month is about adjusting and realigning your life in a way that works better for you. It is about modifying, correcting, removing, adding, clarifying, accommodating, altering, revising and rectifying anything that needs adjustment based on YOUR TRUTH.
“It is about making small alterations and fine-tuning your intentions and action plans and paying attention to what is working and what is not. It is about moving everything into a better fit.
These words resonated so deeply with me. Just the day before I had posted a similar comment on my facebook in response to a friendly debate that started when I shared an article on alcohol use in the healing community from Elephant Journal.
My treatise on any kind of substance use is for people to constantly be noticing how any substance they ingest, food, medicine, intoxicant makes them feel on every level; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I want to inspire people to pay attention to these feelings and to honor themselves by doing whatever serves their highest good. This reflection and self examination also isn’t a one time thing. What serves us the most changes from moment to moment. There is no one size fits all solution. It’s all about your own personal journey.
While I was talking specifically about things you ingest, I have expanded this philosophy to include everything within my life during the course of my project; my year long quest to listen to my body. I have tried to question everything in my life, releasing old patterns of behavior and thoughts that no longer suit me, and actively choosing the ones that do. This is the polar opposite of living in default mode, where we do the things we do, think the things we think and believe the things we believe because that’s what we’ve always done, or what we’re taught to do by our friends, family and society.
As I’ve explored my own truths over the last 11 months, I feel I’ve come to a deeper understanding of my own true essence. I now know my spirit’s real needs, wants, desires, dislikes and joys. It’s funny, but starting out I didn’t consciously realize that I’d wind up becoming intimate partners with my own self. I feel a deeper partnership with my mind, body and soul now that I’ve spent all this time in dialogue with different aspects of myself. I’ve made changes to the way I eat, sleep, exercise, work and play. I’ve done lots of expanding and lots of releasing. I also spent some time honoring all the work I’ve done, and all the things that I’ve consciously chosen to keep in my life. I invite everyone to allow for this kind of self inquiry and adjustment in their own lives. It’s a lot of work, but the results are so worthwhile. Living a conscious life of your own design feels absolutely amazing!
So please, take a few moments every day to decide how you want to live. Every time you make a choice, or even just have a thought, you have the opportunity to craft your life into something that is truly and uniquely yours. Make your decisions by listening to your heart and let whatever doesn’t work for you fall away. If you aren’t sure what to do in any given situation, think of what would serve the highest good of all (including yourself). Choose your own adventure!!!
Here are my top 5 reasons why I’m happy it’s December, and I’m not including the fact that I have NOTHING I need to do today, although maybe that should be my number 1!
1- No Sugar November is OVER! Made it through with only a couple minor slip ups, like accidentally eating Honey Ham the whole time. Neither my husband nor I noticed until about the 20th. The take-away? Well, I realized that I feel fantastic without it.So fantastic I haven’t raced out to break the sugar fast. I’m still sugar free at 2pm today. I don’t know if I want to go back to my old ways. I’m not going to be so careful with things like sugar in a sauce, and I’m sure I’ll do the odd bit of raw honey here and there but I think I want to stay on this sugar free train for awhile longer. I did buy my husband a honeycomb to celebrate though. He loved it, and said now he knows why a bear likes honey!
2- The sun and the moon are in Sagittarius right now. I may be biased as my sun is in Sag, but I think it’s the most awesome sign, and I love the warm expansive fire energy it brings. Some info on what you can do with this Sagittarius new moon from Lisa Michaels right here.
3- My birthday is on Thursday, but my party is tomorrow. I’m going to go play at Edmonton’s new trampoline park, Launchpad! So stoked to go be silly and bounce my way into my 31st year!
4- Only a month to go in my project; the year of listening to my body. It’s been a wild and crazy ride, surpassing every expectation I had. I can’t wait to see what this last month brings.
5- Only 3 more weeks left of work (and they shall be crazy weeks, I’m sure). Then I’m on vacation from the 22nd of December till the 4th of January. We’re going to Cuba for a wedding on the 27th, and it will be the first trip away this year that’s purely recreational. I’m not sure what I’ll wind up doing with myself with no classes to attend or family to visit, but basically I get to go to a tropical island in the dead of winter with my husband and a bunch of our friends with no personal agenda (other than attending the wedding). Should be the perfect way to celebrate the end of this perfect year and to ring in the start of the new one!
Notice that Christmas is not in my top 5? Well, it’s never been my fav, in fact, I used to hate it with a passion. I’ve healed that hurt though, and while it’s still not in my top 5, or even top 10, I’m not dreading Christmas this year, and that is a WIN for me!
Honestly? It’s been way easier than I expected. For me, at least.
My husband has had some twitchy moments.
He estimates his diet is usually made up of about 30% sugar, so he’s been feeling pretty hungry and cranky much of the time. He also just made the transition from working in a kitchen with access to snacks all the time, to packing a lunch. Without the ease of his go-to sandwich (there’s sugar in bread), finding things to pack has been a challenge.
I’ve actually been surprised with my experience. It’s actually been quite easy! Turns out, I really don’t eat a lot of sugar normally anyway! I’ve cut out the few processed foods that were still in my diet, like the odd piece of gluten free bread, and I haven’t had my normal amount of chocolate, but other than that little has changed.
I have made 4 batches of my secret weapon though, the things that are keeping Jeremy sane (along with Zevia pop).
Coconut Manna Cookies!
Nutiva Coconut Manna is basically the nectar of the gods. It’s creamed coconut in a jar.
The cookies I make are a variation on a recipe on the back of the jar:
1 part manna
1 part coconut oil (I use Nutiva as well)
1 part shredded coconut
1 part hemp seeds
Just mix together and drop onto some parchment or wax paper covered baking sheets.
Top with dried goji berries, almonds or raw cacao nibs (or whatever you like, those are just my fav).
The actual recipe calls for 1 part raw honey, but I’ve always omitted that one. They have a delectable sweetness as is.
They’re also hella-filling and full of amazing fiber, protein and loads of good fats. They’re amazing even for breakfast and keep you full for ages. They aren’t low calorie by any stretch, but they’re nutrition powerhouses, so I don’t really worry about it!
I’m going to need to make another batch tomorrow before work. The only issue with these cookies is that they really don’t last long in our household! I’m sure I’ll be making a few more before the end of this sugar free month.
While it might sound like a statement of boredom or existential ennui, this mantra was more like a rocket ship to inner space exploration.
I’ve used it before, as have millions of people for thousands of years, meaning that those two little words carry an incredible power within them.
It means, I am.
The centering though Deepak offered as an additional layer of focus was: I am my deepest desire.
Then he asked the question ‘Who are you?”
He offered us a moment to consider this before introducing the mantra, and the very first thing that popped into my head was ‘I am that which is love’.
As Deepak mentioned, there is no right or wrong answer to the question of your own personal identity, but I know it’s something many of us have struggled with. Sometimes we use the labels we have in our lives to answer. I know as a teenager I liked to use the Meridith Brooks song Bitch with the lyrics “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother, I”m a sinner, I’m a saint, I do not feel ashamed!” I love the song because it sums up our unity with all that is within all the messy contradictions contained in a human life.
As I was listening to Deepak’s introduction, I had immediately started sinking into a meditative state. It was like my whole being just couldn’t wait for the meditation to begin. By the time we officially began, I was already deep into altered state of consciousness.
I’m not sure what meditation feels like for anyone else, but once I’ve dropped in, quieted and focused my mind, I feel electric currents of energy running through me. There is a feeling of pressure on my third eye and crown, and I feel warm, tingly, fuzzy and incredibly alive.
As I repeat the mantra, So Hum, gently, slowly, just speaking the words in my mind, I begin to feel I am the witness to what is occurring in my mind. My consciousness is not what is repeating the mantra, my mind is, and I am observing it, yet I am in control of it as well. I keenly feel the difference between my mind (which is the unique combination of my physical brain and my soul) and my eternal spirit.
With many years of experience working in these altered states of consciousness, I have a few tools to take the meditation deeper, to another level, fusing it with energy work and personal healing.
I began running energy though my body in a microcosmic orbit. At first I have to consciously move the energy with my breath at first, but then it takes on a life of it’s own and my concentration on it is no longer required. This practice is used in all kinds of energetic disciplines, like reiki, chi gong and tantra. This accumulates energy within the body, and I believes it cleanses and cleans out your physical form.
I can feel my consciousness expanding outside of my body, and my awareness is sitting about half a foot above my head. I can feel myself inhabiting my whole auric field, and I bring my focus to my light body. Since my LBL hypnotherapy, I can easily connect with my higher self and feel the sparkly blue, purple and white energy that radiates from my core. Sitting in my light body, I feel tangibly connected to my whole self. I know who I am. This human body is a part of me, as I am part of it, but it is not all of me. It does not define me or limit me. I am here, inhabiting it in order to have a human experience. In order to feel the joy, pain and freedom of expression of being in a physical form on this plane, at this time, in this dimension.
I am what I am. An eternal being of light, who came from the divine source which is only love in order to be an individual unique expression to add to the beauty and complexity of all that is. I exist to learn, grow, play, experience and to love. I choose to be here, right now in order to do those things on Earth.
My deepest desire is to love and to serve using my talents and gifts. These are to help you remember who you are, and to support you on your mission. In order to do that, I want to help you take very good care of yourself, because you are also an amazing, radiant being of light here on a mission to love, learn and grow. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt just how awesome you are. This is my destiny.
So Hum.
I have been repeating the mantra in my mind as my consciousness has been playing in layers of mysteries and understanding.
That is the beauty of meditation. It’s not just about focusing the mind, that’s just the first step which quiets the mind so you can hear your soul, feel the universe speak, see the spark of divinity that resides within you and know who you truly are.
My Sacred Circularities experience in Sedona was so jam packed with amazing transformational experiences, I don’t think it can be properly conveyed with mere words. To give you a real sense of how I feel about it would require enthusiastic hand gestures, jumping up and down and a few funky dance moves thrown in. Maybe some fireworks and an orchestra playing in the background as well. So, as I share the experience with you, imagine a symphony accompanying my words and maybe a choir of angels, or castrato altar boys. Maybe some explosions too, just at the dramatic parts.
Ok, now I feel like maybe I’ve built it up too much. Instead of the symphony and chorus of heavenly host, imagine Djembe and Hang drums with African rhythms, Native American Flutes, sacred mantras sung in harmony, the crackle of a roaring bonfire and the whoosh of a fire hoop. Oh, and coyotes cackling in the not so far off distance. Also, imagine being in the Arizona desert in the fall, so the air is cool but the sun is warm, on acres of incredible desert terrain, surrounded by the stunning red rocks on land dedicated to meditation and spiritual enlightenment, surrounded by vistas like this:
Mago Retreat Center, photo by Beth Lavinder
The Mago retreat center is gorgeous! About half an hour from any other developments, down a red dirt forest service road, it feels like you’re in the middle of nowhere. As you drive in, the first thing you’re greeted with after the gate is a figure like this friendly Taoist master, who I keep thinking of as a wizard. Definitely sets the tone for the magical feeling you get from this land.
Taoist wizard staff spinning statue at Mago. Remind you all of anyone we know?
Everything about the retreat center exudes peace, serenity and healing. After checking into my casita, home for the next week, I wandered the grounds to find my bearings. I came across the swimming pool and a very epic tribute to another Taoist master. The weather was perfect and I was so happy to be there with a little time to myself to soak it all in before loosing myself in the upcoming spiritual shenanigans.
As I approached Earth Hall, our venue for the week, a giant globe popped up out of the desert, surrounded by statues of children playing. In a half circle around the kids were giant golden statues of spiritual masters; Jesus, Mary, Confucius, Chief Seattle, Mohammed, and a Taoist master, all beatifically looking down upon the children and the earth, holding space for all of our work this weekend.
Photo by Beth Lavinder
Our first official event was a meet and greet which of course turned into a hoop jam. Just seconds into playing with my Synergy hoop I fell into the absolute bliss that I had been longing for. The swirling vortex energy coming from the earth had been calling me to dance in it for years.
After a delicious first meal together where we may or may not have honored the mindful speech posters peppering the dining hall, we returned to Earth hall for a Sacred Cacao opening ceremony. The energy within our circle was so vibrant and alive! Looking around at all the bright shining faces I knew some radical transcendence was going to transpire over the week. Our night was punctuated by the laughter of coyotes outside the hall, and many of us could feel the presence of something bigger than us descend into the room. Perhaps it was the Sacred Circularties oversoul, along with all our guides, ancestors, spirit animals, totems and friends, along with all the elementals, devas and nature spirits, the energy of the divine source, and all other beings of the highest vibration who were there to support our journey. We called it all in.
There were so many amazing classes, and moments after that I’ll have to just share a few highlights, but every class was worthwhile and appreciated. I loved starting my mornings with Qi Gong with Shelly White Light. The first session I went to was great, but it was the second day when we had a smaller, intimate group journey with the same warrior’s breath exercise that was really incredible for me. The emotion and energy that moved through the group brought us individually and collectively to tears. It felt like a deep lineage healing and clearing on behalf of all women, as well as a profoundly personal healing.
The dream workshops with Jane Carlton were also incredible for going deep, deep within yourself. The shamanic drum journeys were vivid and wild. First I journeyed into a wolf’s den with my spirit animal, where he accepted me into his pack, only to play a horrible prank on me (spirit has a wicked sense of humor). Then I wound up shifting my perspective to several other creatures’ points of view, from the wolf, to an ant walking between giant blades of grass, all the way down to an amoeba.
On a second shamanic drum journey in a subsequent, more intimate workshop with Jane, we journeyed to find our healing pools. I found mine in a different, very exotic dimension. That was another journey with aspects shared by our small group, many of us seeing elements of each others’ dreams, like phosphor-luminescence, canopy beds and a representation of our divine masculine consort. So much fun to know you’re traveling as a pack in dream space.
The Theta Healing with Jocelyn Gordon was another profound group meditation journey. We connected up to divine source energy and came back down together, healing and downloading new programs of thought and belief systems to upgrade our lives. I’ve done many of these journeys alone, but I find the energy of the group really heightens the experience. After our journey, I could feel how we were all vibrating at a higher frequencies.
There were of course, many great hoop classes over the week. I learned some super badass new breaks from Ann Humphreys and appreciated core hooping all over again with Anah Reichenbach (Aka Hoopalicious). Anah also had us plank, do jumping lunges and dance as weirdly as we possibly could. Fantastic fun was had by all (except during the lunges, those were hard!) Rainbow Michael blew our minds equating Anti-spin to planetary movement and cosmic alignment. Jocelyn Gordon kicked our butts and reminded us that LIFE IS AWESOME! (Oh yes, it is!) in her HoopYogini classes and Julia Hartsell unlocked some amazing spiral movements in her sustained spinning workshop.
A major highlight of the week for me was playing with texture and possibilities in Beth Lavinder’s workshops. She equated hoop dance and movement to textures in fabric, saying when she watched someone hoop, she could feel the texture of their dance. Such a beautiful, apt metaphor that I completely understand as a very tactile person. Watching Beth dance feels like silky smooth satin, and dancing with Beth feels like magic.
There were a couple workshops that really combined spiritual and transformational aspects with active movement, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Julia Hartsell’s ecstatic spin jam was the first, and it was so easy to drop in and bliss out with her spectacular play list. Khan Wong’s two movement classes involved deeply witnessing a partner’s soul essence through movement and art. I feel as if you can’t help but fall in love with the person you witness when you see them move authentically. My partner (whom I was so deeply moved by and honored to witness) said we need to get the whole world to do this with each other. Imagine that… to see the authentic soul essence of a stranger would be to suddenly know them intimately. How different the world would be.
The Five Elements Ecstatic Dance and African dance classes with Malaika were so incredibly wonderful and powerful. In all of them she created such a community feel, inspired by African villages… We danced, sang, laughed and moved together as one tribe, one entity. I also had the privileged of booking a Lomi Lomi massage with her, a Hawaiian spiritually based body work modality that was one of the most wonderfully holistic healing experiences I’ve had to date.
There were also two amazing Yin yoga/sound healing classes lead by Rainbow Michael. The first was so relaxing, we were all puddles of blissfully resonant ooze at the end. There was a spin jam scheduled for afterwards, but I think we all just went to bed instead (at least my wonderful roommate and I did). The second class was just before the closing ceremony. Rainbow was careful not to melt us into puddles again, but the long, relaxing poses stretching all the fascia, ligaments and connective tissues in our bodies was the perfect way to end the retreat.
It wasn’t until the last full day that I wandered into the healing garden, but I’m sure it was perfectly timed. I may have spent too much time there if I had known about it earlier in the week. It’s a vortex site with a beautiful lake, with many a spot to sit and meditate and soak in the energy.
My blissful waterfront meditation. Photo by Beth Lavinder
That might have been the most relaxing part of the week, although our trip out to Boyton Canyon and dinner at the Chocola Tree were right up there as well. Did I mention they provided a smoothie service to us in between classes? YUM! Then there was also the divine Hoop Kirtan experience and the ridiculously fun talent showcase where we saw talents of all kinds explode from our friends (SO MUCH TALENT!) I also can’t forget our full moon fire ceremony where we popped quite a few fire hooping cherries! I had the opportunity to briefly double fire hoop for the first time, to live drumming. It was indescribable to have the chance to play and dance under the full moon in ceremony with my Sacred Circularities tribe.
I want to give huge props and a million thank you’s to Jaguar Mary, the Divine Creatrix of Sacred Circularities.
Her royal purpleness, Jaguar Mary. Photo by Jessie HoolaHoops McGee
The schedule was absolutely perfectly made and she was able to hold such a safe, peaceful container for all of us to shed our skins, open ourselves up, be transformed and taken to the next level. I can only begin to imagine the intricacies of throwing such an event, but she handles it all so gracefully. She also had a few wonderful, radiant volunteers who I thank deeply, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you’s also go out to every single person who was there. Thank you for being so profoundly authentic and willing to share your experience and transformation with us all. You each have a piece of my soul and I will hold space for all your hopes and dreams in my own heart.
Just days after my remedial manifestation lesson, I’ve been reminded of a truth about myself and self care.
I need to move and dance in order to be happy. I really learned this lesson when I had a broken foot and couldn’t dance for 2 months. Over the years, I’ve made movement a part of my daily life and I make sure I dance a few times a week at least.
A shoulder injury I sustained while sleeping (how lame is that?!?) the day after I returned from my epic journey to Arizona has kept me pretty chill for the last 2 weeks. I have only hooped when I needed to, when performing at and rehearsing for the Fierce Woman Awards last week. I also had to pare down my daily yoga routine to just a few simple stretches to keep me from seizing up. Today was the first time I was able to chaturanga without too much pain.
I was actually surprised my ability to keep it together even without my daily routine of movement. I thought I had become dependent upon it to function, addicted to it in lieu of coffee in the morning. I was fine though. More than fine, my mood since I’ve been back has been as high as it’s ever been. Joyous really. I felt amazing. My cup was filled up to overflowing in Sedona and everything just kept being awesome. That is, until yesterday.
Yesterday, by the afternoon, I felt cranky with no real reason. My husband was cranky as well, and I blamed it partially on him… I tend to have a hard time being happy when he’s cranky. The no sugar thing has been hard for him, since he doesn’t actually like bitter tasting foods. I should have been prepared for this. He even warned me.
But I just couldn’t get into anything yesterday, and felt vaguely frustrated and disinterested in all things even when I went to bed.
I woke up feeling better today, but still not quite my shiny, happy radiant normal state. That is until I put on a grizmatik track as I was making coconut manna cookies in the kitchen. Coming through my new nifty Bose speaker it sounded SOOO GOOOD and it was SOOOO FUNKY I couldn’t help myself. I had a dance party in my kitchen. My shoulder did not feel awesome but the rest of my body and soul had outvoted it.
After 5 minutes of getting down, slip sliding, popin’ and lockin’ and booty shaking in my fuzzy slippers lifted my soul up and into the stratosphere.
OH YEAH, I remembered. I need to move. If I don’t, energy gets stuck in my body and interpreted as frustration. I knew this from experience, and it was confirmed during that hypnosis session. I’ll wonder what’s wrong with me and the world, when I all need to do is shake my groove thing. Dancing is one of the most healing and transformational activities on the planet.
I can’t believe I forget that sometimes.
The beautiful icing on the cake was sitting down, moments later to the beginning of my creation coach class only to find the topic was ‘Transforming Energy Through Dance..’ Thanks for the gentle reminder universe!!!
Dancing Into Being 