I haven’t posted since the winter solstice. How interesting the first time I’ve been inspired to write again is the first day of spring! I’ve been spending all my time and energy gestating what will be my most beautiful creation, the little love warrior I’ve been dancing into being.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant today, and I’ve been feeling heavy. Mostly physically, but occasionally mentally and spiritually as well. Growing a person is energetically demanding and incredibly grounding. It feels a little too grounding for me at times. Having to slow down (way, way down) and surrender to stillness is a challenge for my fiery nature. I find myself occasionally getting frustrated with my bodies need for so much rest. I usually use activity, especially dance, to move through my emotions and balance my mood. I was able to dance, move and work with more grace and ease than I expected to, right up until I finished teaching mid February but now seems like the distant past. This last month has been a process of accepting that in order to honor my body and take care of myself and the baby, I need to let go of the need I normally have to sweat it out. I’m trying to remember I can get my dance on it other ways.
This morning, when I awoke and thought about the day ahead, time stretched out in a seemingly endless fashion before me. I’ve finished my to-do list, and the empty time seemed daunting. Then I found in my email inbox the first day of a new 21 day meditation experience with Deepak and Oprah called Shedding The Weight: Mind, Body and Spirit that I had signed up for a few weeks ago. Today’s meditation was called ‘Finding The Lightness In Your Life.’ It was amazing, beautiful and perfect timing as the The sun just moved into Aries and the wheel of the year has just turned to Spring. Personally, I really, really needed the reminder.
I don’t have a daily sitting meditation practice, but I’ve been meditating in some form for about 17 years and it never ceases to amaze me how beautiful it can be. I so often choose movement meditation over one sitting in stillness and I forget how good stillness can be. In today’s meditation, the mantra quickly fell away and I saw myself shedding the heavy, dense energy that had hardened around me over the last while. It cracked off in bits and pieces, revealing the brilliant light body underneath. I was reminded we are all the embodiment of conscious light, radiant stars that come to play and learn in this dense physical realm. I felt connected to all light everywhere in the universe and could feel myself as the rays of the sun shining down on the earth. As this light, I was pure love and compassion, and as I touched the faces of the beings on the planet, my heart overflowed with love for them all. I felt myself as every star in the multiverse, and the unending light of love flowing through every dimension. Back in my body, I could see the light of my daughter glowing within me, a soft golden glow, different in quality from my light, and I was once again reminded she’s coming here to teach me how to love in an even bigger way. I can’t wait to have my heart cracked open to experience these new dimensions of love and to dance with her in my arms.
I’ll be taking a hiatus from teaching until January 2017, but when I return, I will have so much more light and love to share with you all. I can’t wait to dance with you again! Until then, if you want to get your hoop on, there are still classes happening with Infinity Hoopdance.
Wishing you all a Happy Spring!