Feeling Better And Owning It

Ahhhhh….

I feel soooo much better! I’m still a little stuffed up, but in comparison to how I felt this weekend, I feel amazing!

It always shocks me when I get my energy and happiness back after being ill.

When I’m sick, I’m generally pretty sad and mopey. If I’m not actually sad, then I feel flat and blah where nothing really feels that that good. I’m a pretty terrible patient. I whine, I wallow, I probably drive my husband nuts. I also feel like this is how it’s going to be forever. I can hardly imagine having the energy to do anything other than the basics needed for my survival.

When that energetic fog inevitably lifts, as it did this morning, things are suddenly so much better it’s almost comical.

I suddenly feel like doing the dishes, cleaning the house, firing off a few emails that I’d been procrastinating on.

I did my movement meditation for the first time in a few days (I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing on my two days off), and I danced for almost two hours! It was such a relief. Whenever I spend a few days being lazy (resting), I fear that I’ll stay that way forever. I always forget to honor the ebb and flow of energy and the cycles our bodies go through.

I started my movement with some slow off body hooping with a mini hoop. My body found some interesting ways of moving I had never experienced before. Then, once I dropped the hoop, my core began to undulate and I was carried away with my hip shimmies! They’ve been a little rusty since it’s been years since I trained in Belly dance, but today they just vibrated right out of me. I was able to move and dance and figure-eight  while shimmying effortlessly, like never before.

I could feel all this movement clearing out stagnant energy from my second chakra.

I suddenly felt sexy and confident, infused with a gorgeous, seductive and sultry energy.

I was the embodiment of Shakti, the divine feminine creative power.

As I moved I felt this gorgeous sensual power run through me. I could also feel this energy running through all of creation.

I suddenly understood this cosmic power is mine to play with, to use, to create with anytime and all the time!

In the past, I’ve played with this energy, then put it back in its box.

I think I always felt like I was borrowing the energy and I had to give it back.

Today I realized its my birthright.

Time to own my own power.

I felt my goddess nature in a way that finally felt right. It wasn’t intimidating. In fact, it felt freeing.

I see now that I’ve always been afraid of this energy.

It crackles and sizzles with heat and oozes with sexuality. Sexuality, sensuality and eroticism are all integral parts of the creative divine feminine.

I suddenly felt no shame. No lingering doubt about the validity of sex as a tool for creation and manifestation.

It all clicked into place, and I danced and danced, feeling wild, free and beautiful.

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