I figured it was time to explain the subtitle of my blog, Radical Self Love.
Now, it’s not quite as kinky as might sound, but it definitely deviates from social norms.
It’s about loving one’s self completely and utterly, even as society inundates you with messages that you need to change. To be more, to have more, to do this or that. Radical Self Love rejects all the messages from the world that say you are not good enough!
Radical Self Love means knowing that you are enough.
You are perfect in your imperfections and you don’t have to be anyone other than who you are.
It doesn’t mean you stop trying or striving to learn and grow as a person. It simply accepts that wherever you are in your evolution is where you should be.
For me, it means I have to stop being so damned hard on myself. I have always held myself to a very high standard. A standard so close to perfection, I inevitably fall short again and again. Every time I did, I would condemn myself to angry and hateful admonishment. I said the most awful things to myself. I would never, ever speak like that to another person. But I saved all my compassion and understanding for everyone who wasn’t me. I called myself a fat, lazy stupid bitch more times than I care to remember just for being human.
The whole time I was being awful to myself, I was growing in my spiritual understanding. I came to recognize that the source energy underneath everything is love. I could feel the radiant love it all and loved everything right back. I had countless transcendental experiences where the love swept over me and the illusions of separation dissolved. With this oneness came unbiased, undefined, unending love. I felt the love sweeping into the darkness, the shadow sides of life and I began to understand them to be an integral part of the experience we are choosing to have.
I also came to know the essence of God within me; the same light and love- the source energy that resides within all of us. I started to remember who I really was. A spiritual, eternal being having a human experience, the universe, experiencing itself.
But I still sometimes treated myself like garbage.
The idea of loving myself as completely as I love everyone else didn’t occur to me until recently. I thought that in order to be a good person, to grow and evolve my soul, I had to be hard on myself. No one else would be, so it was up to me. The unconditional love I had only extended outward. The love I saved for myself was conditional.
Eventually, I started to connect the dots. If we’re all one, and all is love, then I must be as worthy of the loving compassionate kindness as every other being in the universe.
So, I decided to love myself as hard as I could. To strip away all conditions and love myself anyway.
It was a radical thought.
I also realized that to love myself fully, utterly and completely, I have to honor myself as well. I have to listen to my body as well as my heart and soul. I can’t ignore all the guidance I receive. I have to respect myself enough to believe that the messages I get from my body and my intuition are correct and wise. The project I’m working on this year, to listen to myself and my inner wisdom has made it much easy to honestly love myself. There is no dissonance to overcome, no loving ‘in spite’ of something… It’s all one love.
Radical Self Love is a radiant love.
It is compassionate, understanding, forgiving, peaceful, respectful, joyful and divine.
It is steady, ongoing, inexhaustible, patient, present and kind.
It means listening to all aspects of the Self- body, mind and soul.
Being gentle with yourself.
Trusting yourself and the universe to fully support you.
Surrounding yourself with people who love and support you and removing yourself from negativity.
It means taking care of yourself with proper feeding, watering, sunlight, exercise, fresh air and whatever else your body asks for.
Nurturing your abilities, and allowing your creativity to flow.
It means you are enough. You are perfect, even in your imperfections.
It means remembering and celebrating your divine nature.
It means you are free.